“Stack dating” consists of planning several meetings per week, or even several during the same day, in order to “make the most of your free time. The idea is no longer to wait for the perfect slot, but to integrate meetings into the gaps in your schedule.
“Stack dating”, a practice that shakes up the codes
Paul Brunson, expert at Tinder interviewed by the
HuffPostdescribes this practice with enthusiasm.
“Stack dating is essentially about designing your love life the same way you design the rest of your day – with intention, efficiency, and a lot less pressure“.
According to him, this allows you to transform a morning coffee, a workout or a quick run into a natural meeting opportunity, without it dominating the entire day.
A quest for efficiency specific to Generation Z
For Generation Z, who are juggling an increasingly heavy mental load, this method is a pragmatic response. According to Tinder data, 51% of young adults are open to these flexible formats. They prefer a quick meeting rather than weeks of fruitless virtual messages.
By treating dating as a planned priority like a medical appointment or a Pilates class, they regain control.
“At its core, stack dating is a response to a generation that says, ‘I want meaningful connection, but I also want to honor my routine, my well-being, and my priorities.'” adds Paul Brunson.
Psychological risks: when humans become interchangeable
However, this excessive optimization worries mental health specialists. If the time saving is real, the quality of the emotional connection could suffer. Siyana Mincheva, psychologist consulted by True Medical on the subject, warns against this accounting approach to seduction.
“With stack dating, we remain in a logic of permanent comparison. Because the brain tends to constantly compare: ‘he or she is funnier than the other’, ‘the other is more attractive’, ‘maybe the next match will be better’…”
This overload of choice could even produce the opposite effect to that sought. “In this dynamic, the person is evaluating more than actually connecting with someone.”
she warns.
By multiplying the options, we risk falling into the “paradox of choice”: the more possibilities we have, the more difficult it becomes to be satisfied with our final choice. “Ultimately, stack dating can encourage behavior where people become interchangeable, with a real risk of superficiality.”
Towards dating app burnout?
If the idea of taking the drama out of the first date is attractive, emotional fatigue also threatens “stack daters”. Making presentations and initial discussions requires considerable energy.
And the risk of saturation is very real. As Siyana Mincheva points out, “talking to multiple people, arranging multiple dates, and managing different dynamics can lead to mental fatigue, reduced enthusiasm, and feelings of app burnout“.
She also observes that many people end up completely disengaging from dating because of this.
“In reality, a budding relationship requires time, attention and emotional presence. If our energy becomes divided among multiple people, it becomes more difficult to develop true intimacy.”
In conclusion, stack dating is a powerful tool for overloaded schedules, provided you do not lose sight of the fact that the other person is not a simple checkbox. Finally, transparency remains the key to this practice: if you see several people, be honest when the subject comes up.