If we can easily identify the toxic people around us, we do not always realize that we are the most harmful person for ourselves. If you have the feeling of never being up to it, whatever you do, and your inner criticism judges you all day long, it is very likely that you do not have a healthy relationship with yourself. To get out of self-abutment, it is essential to learn to develop self-compassion, that is to say to show indulgence and benevolence towards oneself in the event of failure. The best way to adopt this posture is to treat your inner speech. Here are the sentences to ban if you want to succeed in life.
Take care of your inner speech
In an interview with CNBC, Emma Seppälä, a professor at the Yale management school, believes that we sometimes criticize ourselves in an extremely virulent way, and that this is what prevents us from leading a fulfilled life. It has identified five sentences to banish at all costs of our mind because they maintain negativity and lead us straight to failure:
- “I’m not good enough”;
- “I can never get there, why try?” ;
- “I suck/a failure”;
- “I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid”;
- “I am less good than them”.
Self -compliance
To put an end to this toxicity, the expert recommends practicing self-compassion. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, understanding and patience, especially in difficult times. In other words, it is a question of agreeing the same support that one would naturally offer to a dear friend confronted with an error, pain or failure. For example, you can replace criticism with compassionate words, such as: “I do my best in this situation”,, “”I am not alone, many people live that “. “”I am not perfect, but I accept myself as I am. “ Auto-compassion also involves recognizing their emotions without judging them, in particular by practicing breathing in mindfulness and accepting that what you live is simply part of human experience. Auto-compassion decreases the tendency to ruminate or judge itself severely, while promoting greater emotional stability. By being more benevolent with yourself, you often become more tolerant, empathetic and open to others.