A friend or relative who is unwell affects us all. But caught up in everyday life, we don’t always have the time to take major actions to help them. Especially since the loved one in question tries to hide his or her discomfort and promises to be fine. However, there is a simple action to put in place, much more important than you think and which can change the situation.
8 minutes of call or messages
This gesture was popularized by TEDx speaker Simon Sinek. This would involve taking just 8 minutes of your time to call or send messages to the person concerned to change your daily life. According to him, eight minutes of concentration is enough to help a person feel heard, valued and less alone. It also allows us to establish a brief, yes, but important connection (while we all have 8 minutes available in our day). For three reasons:
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It breaks the feeling of isolation
Regular interactions, however brief, show others that they are seen and appreciated and provide a sense of belonging. Research published in
The Journals of Gerontology found that any type of social interaction can help reduce feelings of loneliness among older adults within a matter of hours. The 8-minute rule reminds us that connection doesn’t require a significant time commitment: what matters is the thought behind it.
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This trivializes the request for help
Sometimes asking for help can be intimidating, and many people find it difficult to express their vulnerability, even to close friends. According to another 2022 study published in
Psychological Science points out that people tend to overestimate the reluctance of others to help. But standardizing 8-minute connections regularly allows you to get past this.the right time” to ask for help and simplify interactions.
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It builds trust and reliability in relationships
Trust and reliability are at the heart of any meaningful relationship. When you commit to checking in on each other, even for eight minutes, you show your friends that they can count on you, no matter how busy your life gets. Over time, these moments of connection create a solid foundation of trust.
“Showing that we are there is not that complicated” calls back our psychologist
Consulted, psychologist Johanna Rozenblum, member of our committee of experts, approves of this idea, even if these 8 minutes are not based on scientific facts.
“I don’t know if it takes exactly 8 minutes to take care of someone. But alleviating the feeling of loneliness of a loved one is in fact not as complicated as you might think. Calling a friend for 8 minutes is not going to replace regular support, but it is still giving your time and it allows you to create a connection, and to show that you are thinking about this person, without judging them.”
Sincere listening, which demonstrates interest, and which can involve a call, but also messages, sending photos, a joke that makes us think of her, a reference…. “It only takes a few seconds and yet it proves that you are not far away” reacts the psychologist. However, this should not replace all physical contact either. “When meeting is possible, it is also important to take the time to go see your loved one, to support them, even to hold them in your arms or to have direct eye contact. These actions are also necessary to show the person that they matter” concludes the expert.