Two visions have always been opposed when it comes to love: that which celebrates the natural affinities between similar partners, and that which believes in the irresistible force of differences. But what about? A recent scientific study shakes up received ideas and clarifying the debate.
Similarity or complementarity: a false opposition?
It has long been believed that the strongest couples rested on common bases: culture, values, lifestyle … This is what the theory of homogamy defended, dominant in sociology. The idea? Sharing common points would promote harmony and love longevity.
However, according to a study published in 2025 in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationshipshipsthese objective resemblances would actually have little influence on long -term satisfaction. What matters more is the feeling of emotional proximity, this impression that the other understands us, even if our personalities differ.
Opposite but compatible temperaments
Are character oppositions necessarily sources of conflict? Not always. Psychology often distinguishes two major profiles:
- The profiles A: dynamic, ambitious, structured.
- Profiles B: relaxed, conciliatory, spontaneous.
At first glance, it is difficult to imagine a lasting agreement between these two extremes. However, as psychologist Krista Jordan explains in the columns of Stylistthis complementarity can become a force – provided you find a balance.
The profiles have brought structure and initiative, where profiles B offer flexibility and appeasement. The danger? That one dominates without the other asserting himself. In order for this dynamic to work, everyone must evolve: profiles A must learn to let go, profiles B to set their limits.
Emotional agreement, key to stability
Rather than perfect resemblance, it is the ability to adjust emotionally that seems to be the real cement of lasting relationships. The differences, far from being obstacles, can become opportunities for mutual enrichment – if they are welcomed in a climate of respect and curiosity.
As summarizes Stylist“The differences broaden our horizons, provided that they do not perceive them as threats but as invitations to dialogue“.
An attraction for what looks like us … or completes us?
By questioning the psychologist Johanna Rozenblum for a previous subject, we understand that love does not obey a unique formula, but to a fundamental need: to feel understood. “”Studies show that couples often have similar features, which can reflect a need for self -recognition in the other. When sharing a way of feeling or living things, it facilitates empathy and decision -making.“”
Compatibility is not based on a perfect resemblance, or on a radical opposition, but on a subtle game of mutual adjustment. What makes a couple last is not to be identical, but to learn to move forward together, each with their strengths, their faults, and their singularity.