The routine can quickly settle in a relationship, giving the impression that the flame goes out. However, it is not always necessary to spend fortunes in romantic escapades to find complicity. According to psychologist Mark Travers, a specialist in couple relationships, some everyday gestures are enough to strengthen happiness.
The boredom trap for couples
A study published in JOurnal of Social and Clinical Psychology Questioned married and in relation couples. The researchers found that boredom mainly came from a lack of novelty and stimulation. Mark Travers explains for CNBC that the main thing is to bring movement and shared experiences, even very simple.
“”As a couple psychologist and husband, I always encourage people to instill newness in their relationship. Fortunately, pleasure is available in various forms, sizes and prices. And often, the most rewarding moments are free“.
The study participants cite several causes of boredom: too rare conversations, lack of common projects, lack of spontaneity. Some also explain that they feel locked in a routine that no longer leaves room for surprises. As Tony Leblond, couple and family therapist explained in a previous article: “When you get bored in your couple, it can come from a kind of routine that has settled within the couple“Starts the therapist. “Some people need to be surprised or surprised in their daily lives and over time, the spouse who made this effort no longer does it, hence this boredom that sets in“, he specifies.
The 5 activities that bring happy couples closer
According to through and the testimonies collected, the fulfilled couples regularly integrate five types of activities:
- Go to micro-adventures: go to a bookstore, visit a museum, walk in town or discover a new coffee;
- Practice their leisure side by side: “You love reading. Your partner loves video games. It does not seem to be a perfect combination, until you realize that you can practice them together, separately. Instead of imposing common interests, these couples simply create a shared presence“;
- Reserve time for their own habit: “Research shows that leisure and shared rituals are strongly linked to relational satisfaction“;
- Transform chores into play: “The happiest couples I know know how to divert everyday life. If they are blocked by a boring chore or task, they will find a playlist or a program to put in the background to spice up everything“;
- Honor their old traditions: “Studies show that rituals play an essential role in the satisfaction, quality and intimacy of a relationship. Happy couples take advantage of it by granting activities which once united them a privileged place in their relationship“.
How these little gestures change everything
These shared or parallel activities make it possible to introduce a dose of novelty in everyday life and to cultivate a lasting complicity. They recall that marital happiness is not only built in major projects but also, and above all, in the simplest rituals.