Do you know the behaviors that can harm your romantic relationship? A study, published in 2022, identified the six negative attitudes for the couple. Besides infidelity or abusive behavior, three actions have been shown to be the most harmful to the couple. Here are some, with explanations from psychologist Mark Travers.
Your partner doesn’t care about you
Lack of attention from your partner is the number 1 reason that can jeopardize your marriage. This can happen through different behaviors such as:
- not showing interest in the partner’s feelings or in the relationship;
- neglecting to spend quality time together;
- ignoring a partner’s needs, preferences, or opinions;
- taking your partner for granted and not expressing gratitude;
- avoid emotional or physical intimacy.
“When one partner feels ignored or underestimated, it can lead to deep feelings of loneliness and resentment.” says Mark Travers. This causes her to question her worth and the future of marriage. On the contrary, a caring, nurturing and emotionally connected partner is a plus in a relationship. This can only improve the partner’s satisfaction and strengthen the existing bond between them.
He or she does not treat your children well
Another behavior that is deeply harmful to the couple is that of a partner who mistreats the common children (or who fails to fulfill their parental responsibilities). This may include:
- neglecting to spend time with children;
- display inappropriate or abusive parental behavior;
- undermine the authority or decisions of the other parent.
“People are more worried that an abusive partner may physically harm their children, who are more vulnerable than them.” recall the authors of the study. “They found that participants would strongly consider ending a relationship if their partner displayed harmful behaviors towards their children. reports Mark Travers.
On the other hand, showing a united front as parents and being actively involved in children’s lives creates a supportive family environment that can only strengthen the marital bond.
Your partner is controlling
Finally, controlling behaviors, such as imposing one’s will on another, restricting one’s freedom or manipulating them, rank third among the most toxic actions in a marriage.
Specific examples of such behavior include:
- constantly criticizing or blaming a partner;
- isolate him from his friends, family or favorite hobbies;
- show excessive jealousy;
- push the partner to make decisions prematurely.
“Control refers to the feeling of autonomy, a basic human need. When this need is not met, it is strongly associated with relationship dissatisfaction and increased conflict.” adds the expert. A dynamic, which can exacerbate resentment, low self-esteem and the desire to escape, for the victim. On the contrary, when we feel valued, loved and deeply supported, the relationship is likely to evolve positively in the long term.