According to a recent survey by DatingNews.com conducted among 1,000 adults, a wind of nostalgia is blowing through the love sphere. In fact, 65% of singles say they are looking for romance in real life, far from screens.
The preferred means of finding a soul mate are the network of friends or colleagues (48%), events for singles (31%) or leisure-related activities (24%). For Natassia Miller, a relationship expert whose comments are reported by CNBC, this shift makes sense. “In person, you can assess chemistry and energy that is impossible to perceive on an app.” she believes.
The essential question to ask yourself
If we tend to question the other from every angle, we often forget the essentials. In a previous article, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, recalled the most important question on the first date is not addressed to the partner, but to yourself. And it’s very simple: “Am I really myself with this person?”
“Too often we try to fit an ideal image to please“, warns the expert. If you feel free to laugh, speak without filter and express your opinions, this is a great indicator of the potential of the relationship. Conversely, if you constantly have to adapt, it is a sign that the story may not be made to last.
The golden rule: seek the friend before the lover
Once your own feelings have been validated, Natassia Miller advises changing your perspective on the other. The goal of initial contact is to gauge whether you simply like the person. “You should try to get to know the other person as a potential friend rather than as an immediate romantic interest.”she explains.
To think outside the box, choose open-ended questions focused on curiosity:
- “What brings you here?” ;
- “What arouses your curiosity about this event?” ;
- “What kind of people do you like to surround yourself with?”
So many questions that will allow you to know more about this potential future partner, before committing.
Communication: the art of asking “supporting questions”
Finally, to keep the conversation going, Matt Abrahams, communications expert, suggests focusing on active listening. A good question should be concise and build on what the other person has just said rather than simply summarizing.
These are called supporting questions. For example, if your partner mentions their family:
- To avoid: “I saw my parents too.” because we bring the conversation back to ourselves;
- To be preferred: “What do you like to do together when they visit you?“, this open question allows us to learn more about the other.
You understand: the success of a meeting in 2026 no longer depends on an optimized profile, but on your ability to be present and authentic. By listening to your intuition as much as the other person’s words, you will quickly know if that first coffee deserves a follow-up.