Having a bunch of friends to go out every weekend, is it really the guarantee of solid relationships? For several psychologists, the answer is no. The solitary, often perceived as away, is not a person rejected by others. On the contrary: it is a personality that relies on the quality of links rather than quantity. An assumed choice which, according to specialists, allows them to surround themselves with more loyal friends.
Why don’t solitary need a big band?
The magazine Your tango quotes psychologist Jonathan Cheek, who explains: “They just need less than most people to be accepted by their peers“. For him,”Some people simply have a low need for affiliation“.
Cheek distinguishes solitary by preference from those who become so by obligation. “”A penchant for loneliness can also reflect a mixture of innate trends and experiences, such as not having many friends as children or growing up in a family that values intimacy“, he specifies.
Contrary to popular belief, being lonely is not synonymous with timidity. Psychologist Kaitlin Kaiser reminds us: “Choosing solitude is different. It does not come from a feeling of fear or insecurity, but from a more selfish feeling. It is the feeling of being the owner of his thoughts and his stories“.
Why are these personalities best friends?
According to psychologists, solitary “By choice “ prove to be much more reliable friends than the others. They know what they want, are not satisfied with superficial relationships and fully invest in the links they choose.
Their way of understanding friendship promotes proximity and the deep understanding of the other, rather than a accumulation of superficial knowledge. Result: they offer solid relationships, where loyalty and sincerity are central.