What if jealousy was not only a matter of heart, but also centimeters? This is what a study published in the journal suggests Evolutionary Behavioral Scienceswhich has looked into the effect of the size – real or perceived – on certain personality traits.
When the size influences … the character
According to the study carried out on 300 people, most men and women would like to be greater than they are, men expressing this desire in a more marked way. The latter also declare more competitiveness than envy or jealousy, while women are more enclosed. Researchers, however, observed that small people – or dissatisfied with their size – were more enclosure, jealous and competitive towards people of the same sex, a particularly marked phenomenon in men. In short, the greater the gap between the actual size and the ideal size, the more these feelings are exacerbated. In particular towards other men perceived as rivals.
For many, virility is counting in centimeters
For psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, specialist in self -esteem mechanisms, this phenomenon is far from trivial: “It is not a question of centimeters, it is a question of supposed virility “ she analyzes directly. The company has always associated male size with power, power, domination.
“To be tall is then” to take up space “,” Impress “, in short: correspond to the expected image of” the strong man “”. A tenacious stereotype, which is anchored from childhood and shapes self -perception “.
“When this image vacillates, it is the esteem that cracks”continues Amélie Boukhobza. “”And when you don’t feel “enough” – not big enough, not impressive enough – you doubt. We compare ourselves. And jealousy settles down. “
Jealousy as a feeling of insufficiency
In this context, jealousy is no longer simply a reaction to a romantic threat. It becomes the symptom of a feeling of insufficiency, a lack of confidence vis-à-vis its own value.
“It is not the other that does something wrong, it is yourself that doubts the weight”summarizes the psychologist. “Until sometimes sink into paranoia or excessive surveillance, not because we love too much, but because we fear not being enough.”
Shots to deconstruct urgently
However, size and values have nothing to do, recalls the psychologist. Do you really have to measure 1m90 to be reassured in your relationship? Amélie Boukhobza is categorical: no. “There are men of 1m60 very sure of themselves, and men of 1m90 very jealous”. Proof that a few centimeters do not make man. Neither the quality of the partner.
The key lies less in size than in self -acceptance, and in the deconstruction of virilist injunctions which bind the value of a man to his physique. Because more than ever, masculinity deserves to be redesigned far from the stereotypes of domination. An idea that would gain more space.