Who has never sent an important message, to a loved one, or to their Crush, hoping for an immediate response? And now three small points appear, suggesting an exchange…. Before fading. A detail that is not one. Because in many cases, this very small exchange or plûtot this silence can put us on our nerves.
Three small points and then go away
This sequence is a classic of our use of the phone underlines Johanna Ronzenblum, clinical psychologist. “We become captive of a loop: I wait, so I hope so I scrutinize then I stress”she summarizes. A well -known loop of all text addicts, in which our brain embarks without asking permission.
A far from rare case. According to a study by Viber, 31 % of people consider SMS as a major source of daily anxiety. Another study signed Occurrence (2019) reveals that two out of ten people suffer from non-response.
A great connection era … and emotional overheating
The fault is not to be rejected on your interlocutor, but probably on a hyper-connections that has changed the codes. “”We are not supposed to see if a person is online, if they have seen our message or if they are responding “deplores Johanna Rozenblum. “However, these features are there, before our eyes, and activate our neurons in red alert mode.”
Our brain then entered a light alert.“Does he try to predict what will follow: good news? A criticism? A break? A declaration of love?” This anticipation mechanism, combined with waiting, generates a cocktail of frustration and anxiety, especially if the emotional stake is strong.»
In Psychology Today, psychologist Loren Soeiro drives the point home: “SMS allow immediate gratuity, but they also induce waiting for immediate results.” And when does the answer not come? It is the infernal spiral of self-interpretation.
How to put an end to this anxiety?
If you are style to ruminate on these three small points all evening, know that it is possible to get out of this hellish loop. “”If you start to notice how your thoughts get carried away while waiting, you will see that this often coincides with a peak of anxiety “underlines Loren Soeiro. Therefore, a step back is necessary. It is also good to remember that a thousand reasons can explain digital silence. And above all remember that the disaster scenario is rarely the right one.
For Johanna Rozenblum too, this report can allow us to take stock of her emotional management. “”What these three points trigger, says a lot about our report to the smartphone … and to ourselves. This is an opportunity, I think, to question his behavior in front of the phone. “
So we breathe. We let go of the phone. We play sports, we play, we live. And if the message still does not come, we can return one, once emotionally came back. On the other hand, if after a week your Crush remains silent … it looks more like Du ghosting than hesitation. And there, it is better to move on.