Have you often been deceived by your own kindness? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares some essential tips for identifying toxic people in time.
Be wary of criticism and belittling comments
From the first minutes of a meeting, “we sometimes feel a strange feeling, a little inner voice that alerts us: Be careful, something is wrong…“, explains the expert. But how can we distinguish a simple intuition from a real alarm signal?
First, it is essential to observe whether a person systematically criticizes or puts down others. “If someone spends their time pointing out the faults of others or making fun of them without restraint, it says a lot about their state of mind. Valuing yourself by putting others down is never healthy“, recalls the psychologist.
Stay vigilant against speeches that are too good to be true
Another point of attention: beautiful words. “Beware of those who are too good at packaging and seducing from the start“, warns the specialist.
“If the compliments seem excessive or rushed, that’s a sign you shouldn’t ignore. Manipulators often have a certain talent for flattering and quickly establishing a relationship of trust“, she adds.
Questioning yourself when the other always plays the victim
Another indicator to watch for is the tendency of the other person to constantly position themselves as victims. “If a person always presents their exes, former friends or colleagues as monsters without ever questioning themselves, this is a major red flag“, warns Amélie Boukhobza. This attitude often reveals an inability to assume one’s responsibilities.
Detect inconsistencies and stay cautious
The expert also recommends paying attention to inconsistencies in the interlocutor’s speech. “If their comments vary for no reason or if certain anecdotes seem implausible, the person may be trying to confuse you. Manipulators often change facts to serve their own narrative“, she warns.
Trust your intuition
Finally, the psychologist encourages you to listen to your intuition and your feelings, even if they seem irrational at first.
“These warning signals are precious… Sometimes our body perceives what our reason does not yet dare to admit. If you feel drained, tense, or uncomfortable after just a few minutes with someone, it’s important to take this into account. The body sometimes sends messages before the mind understands why“, underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
While first impressions are often telling, “it is always good to take a step back and let time confirm your feelings“, she concludes.