A simple “A man does not cry“May seem harmless, but this type of injunction, repeated since childhood, shapes behaviors that are deeply anchored. Toxic masculinity, a concept increasingly discussed, brings together a set of rigid standards imposed on men and which can prove to be harmful, both for themselves and for their entourage. Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist, enlightens us on the subject.
Stereotypes learned from childhood
Johanna Rozenblum describes this phenomenon as “La toxic masculinity is a set of cultural behavior and norms, which are associated with a stereotypical and restrictive conception of what masculinity should be. This with regard to society, social expectations that we have men and to whom they should comply“. This model often settles in the family or social environment. The injunctions to be strong, do not show its weaknesses, provide for your family and avoid everything that could be perceived as feminine shape a fixed posture. Domination, aggressiveness and the absence of emotion become benchmarks, and without questioning, these codes can be transformed into toxic attitudes.
Signs that do not deceive
Certain behaviors make it possible to identify this scheme. Among them, the rejection of vulnerability, the refusal to request help, the avoidance of any emotion perceived as weakness (except anger and aggressiveness), control over women, excessive competition to the detriment of social relations. “”And unfortunately, this also understands everything that is sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc …“, Specifies Johanna Rozenblum.
Heavy consequences on life and mental health
For Fanny Gravel-Patry, advisor to promote mental health at the Montreal subsidiary in The Dauphiné“The man who absolutely wants to correspond to these gender standards can behave aggressively because this is what we expect from him. He can also estimate that he is in a position of natural domination and reject everything that is feminine“. She recalls that”Wanting to match male stereotypes means refusing to ask for help“And underlines that this helps to explain”the suicide rate is higher in men than in women“.
Change to healthier masculinity
Johanna Rozenblum believes that “Changing for less toxic masculinity is not impossible, but this implies two inseparable factors: awareness on the dysfunctional side of your own thought scheme, and the energy and the will that one is ready to put in this work of understanding which motivates a change“. This requires a deep work of introspection, questioning his values and the gaze inherited from his family.”You have to be capable of great introspection and a large self -criticism“, She concludes.