Have you ever been proud of a project, a promotion, or simply to have the feeling of having succeeded in your life in your life … before being denied by a loved one or a colleague? If so, know that you are probably in no way responsible. You are simply the victim of the “Grand Coquelicot syndrome”, a resentment based on jealousy.
What is Grand Coquelicot syndrome?
Grand Coquelicot syndrome is an attitude and a social phenomenon that manifests itself by resentment, exclusion or criticism of people who stand out by their difference, their successful professional career or their achievements.
This syndrome was popularized for the first time in 1984 by Susan Mitchell, author and journalist, in her book “Tall Poppies“. Why this strange name? Because it evokes the image of a field of poppies where some, larger than others, are distinguished by their height. They are therefore also the first targets to” cut “for some. History of not feeling outdated.
And this is how a friend or a colleague supposed to support you or appreciate you, finds himself criticizing your enthusiasm, against all odds. “As soon as someone rises a little too high, it bothers them, it stings them” recognizes Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Why can success displease?
But why turn away from a person to whom everything seems to smile? And not on the contrary inspire it, or simply rejoice for it? For the expert, the answer is sometimes more complex. And sometimes stands out when a lack of confidence exists.
“Sometimes, the success of the other acts as a mirror. She refers to her own gaps, her failures, or simply to the idea that we have not” as successful “. Instead of admiring, some feel a threat, as if the success of the other decreases theirs.”
A sharp impression also by current times when appearance takes over. “”It may seem crazy, but so current, especially in the era of social networks where the comparison and display of “which has the best life” are permanent ” underlines the psychologist.
What to do when you face denigration?
The fact remains that the resentment of others can still reach us. Anxiety, restraint, or even isolation can settle, without having made no mistakes. However, Amélie Boukhobza assures him, we must not question ourselves.
“Yes, when we announce good news and that close does not rejoice, it can necessarily hurt. But we must keep in mind that it does not talk about us, it talks about them. Their jealousy says their insecurity much more than our success. And that must be said and remember!”
But concretely how to react? “Certainly not by minimizing what we live so as not to disturb” insists the psychologist. “We keep the pride of having advanced, even if the other grimace. Because rejoicing for yourself is very important!”