It’s been long months, you were waiting for them. These famous summer holidays. With your spouse, you had skillfully orchestrated everything: the destination of course, but also the activities budget, a certain number of books to devour and a selection of suitable outfits. However, nothing went as planned. Your partner has chained blunders and mood swings, to the point of (strongly) irritate you. How to explain such an agreed … and take the opposite view? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares us valuable advice.
When the long -awaited intimacy ends up becoming suffocating …
Throughout the year, we look forward to the holidays. We repeat ourselves: “Strongly this moment, we will finally find ourselves, spend time together …”.
“And then the long -awaited day happens. But things are going wrong. Tensions, arguments, silences, irritation for trifles. As if the long -hoped intimacy ended up becoming suffocating. What to be frankly disappointed”, confirms the psychologist.
But the holidays often act “like a magnifying glass”. They place us in front of the other … but especially in front of everything we avoided looking during the year, for lack of time or momentum. “”No more escape, more routine to make a diversion. There is only time left. And sometimes a certain discomfort settles “, warns the expert.
In this situation, how to reverse the scale?
Faced with the first silences and tensions births, pessimism is not allowed. “”It should not be deduced that everything is lost “confirms Amélie Boukhobza.
“”Perhaps we have bet on these few days to repair months of distance. And that what cracks there, on the sand, started well before “underlines the specialist.
So what to do? What to say?
Rather than fleeing or exploding, opening dialogue is a good idea.
“Not to solve all the problems at once, but to understand what this failure says of us. And to adjust, little by little, which deserves to be”, underlines the practitioner.
One evening per week or every two weeks is a good way, on a daily basis, to reconnect.
“A cinema, a weekend, a moment for two, of the moments chosen – apart from children, work and daily chaos. Because we must not wait until summer to take care of this link. We build it throughout the year”, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.