When you ask someone what the happiest moment of their life was, the answers often point to childhood, early youth or sometimes old age and its wisdom. Contemporary psychology, however, reminds us that well-being does not always follow a simple straight line: some works even describe a U-shaped “happiness curve”, with a dip in the middle of life then an emotional rebound later. In this debate, a Spanish psychologist with a huge following on Instagram offers a confusing answer.
His name is Rafael Santandreu, cognitive psychologist and author of personal development books, and his sentence has been making the rounds in the media: “What is the best stage of people’s lives? If we do a survey, I believe that many will say good, childhood or early youth. But that is not the right answer or the one that I like the most.” Then he decides: “the best stage of a person’s life is when he starts to think correctly, stop complaining and appreciate the incredible, magical, even spiritual things that are around you at every moment.” For him, the best stage of life is therefore not an age group but an inner shift.
Why Rafael Santandreu is changing our view of the “best stage of life”
In popular culture, childhood is often painted as a carefree golden age, yet it remains a time of heavy dependence. Youth rhymes with discoveries and freedom, while being shot through with anxiety and social pressure. Even old age, sometimes associated with growing inner peace, does not automatically bring this stability to everyone.
For Rafael Santandreu, the key lies elsewhere: in the daily attitude. He sums up his method in one clear decision: “When you decide to do this, you start doing it with all intensity and depth, it begins to take effect in your mind.” He adds: “It starts to be the best stage of your life, much better and happier and more intense than when you were a child, a teenager or any time. When you start to think correctly.” This shift from an ideal age to mental training radically redefines the best stage of life.
“Thinking correctly” with Rafael Santandreu: what is it actually about?
In line with cognitive psychology, Rafael Santandreu speaks of “thinking correctly” when a person stops dramatizing everything that happens to them. It’s about stopping the automatic complaint, replacing “it’s horrible” with “it’s difficult but bearable” and also looking at what continues to work.
This “serene realism” goes hand in hand, for him, with training in active appreciation. Concretely, it invites us to stop several times a day on the “incredible, magical, even spiritual things” already present: being able to walk, share a coffee, hear a loved one laugh, simply be alive.
When the best stage of life also requires outside help
This approach does not deny real difficulties or psychological illnesses. When suffering overflows, recourse to a mental health professional remains essential support, complementary to this inner work.