Whether it’s a simple colleague or a neighborhood neighbor, we’ve all already had a woman in our sights. But how do we spot this seductress? According to researchers, the “ideal rival” would have two typical characteristics.
Formidable rivals
Women have always engaged in a form of silent competition to attract potential partners. And among the fairer sex, some “candidates” appear to be more voracious than others. A study published in the journal Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences reveals that these formidable “rivals” possess two specific characteristics.
- The first is the rival’s competitive intention, that is, her desire to compete, which often manifests itself through flirting.
- The second is its competitive capacity, in other words its ability to succeed (by obtaining the targeted partner).
To confirm this theory, researchers conducted three separate experiments with 1,169 heterosexual female students. In one of these experiments, participants were asked to imagine themselves single at a wedding and interested in a man. They then met an acquaintance there – called Zoé.
The story varied depending on Zoe’s behavior and appearance. In some versions, this showed a strong desire to seduce. In others, it displayed a “low competitive intent” reserving this seductive attitude for her own long-term boyfriend. Furthermore, Zoe was described either as physically attractive (high competitive ability) or as unattractive (low competitive ability).
Result ? Women described as seeking “actively compete” were perceived as more threatening than those who were not. Likewise, women described as “physically attractive” were judged to be more threatening than those who were not.
“The rival perceived as the most formidable of all was the one who combined great physical attractiveness and active flirting behavior towards the coveted man.“, underlines the study.
Results, which do not surprise Pascal Anger.
“Jealousy can take over”
Single women (divorced, widowed, etc.) can easily be perceived as rivals.
“They are first invited, welcomed, then something changes, even disturbs: their presence becomes more complicated, because they appear as potential rivals or troublemakers.“, recognizes the expert. “Besides, if there are already tensions in the couple, the arrival of this person will only make things worse.”
The problem ? On a daily basis, we are often confronted with these stories of rivalry. “It is common for a man or woman to approach the couple… and quickly cause problems. confirms the expert.
“Of course, the presence of this new person can be interesting, bringing a new “dynamism”, a new lease of life to the couple. But here again, jealousy can take over,” underlines Pascal Anger. We then wonder if this rival can indeed destroy our romantic relationship.
How to react to this seductress?
First of all, it is important to secure your loved one.
“We have to reassure him, tell him that we are not going to abandon him,” advises the psychologist. Then, you have to arm yourself with discernment: do you make films or should you really fear this attractive/seductive person?
In reality, if it is common – even healthy – to take offense at this presence, “when these worries become excessive, repeated, they become abnormal. They often reflect deep anguish, a fear of losing the other, a desire to possess them… which are all worrying signs. warns the specialist. “You are indeed projecting your fears onto the rival here.”
All these feelings therefore often refer to a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. “Both partners must understand what is at stake around this rivalry or this jealousy. And sometimes, you have to agree to get help from a professional,” specifies the specialist.
If life together is not a long, quiet river, “the main thing is to talk to each other, to trust each other, to feel respected and above all not to be alone with your doubts”, concludes the expert.