Are we twice as happy at 60 as at 30? Not sure that science supports this. On the other hand, our relationship with happiness seems to change with age. At 30, he is often associated with projects, success and everything we still hope to build. At 60, he can find himself more in what is already there.
So, what has changed in 30 years? And why can we sometimes have the impression of seeing life more rosily as the years go by?
A good day becomes a problem-free day
At 30, a good day is often synonymous with something new: good news, an outing, a promotion, a project that is moving forward.
At 60, happiness can be much simpler: having slept well, seeing loved ones in good health, taking a nice walk or simply having a quiet day.
“At 30, happiness is still very linked to what we are going to become. We build. We plan. We want to succeed in our professional, romantic and family life”, explains Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Over time, the search for novelty can leave more room for the pleasure of enjoying what already exists. Little pleasures of life.
The circle of friends tightens
At 30, you may also want to meet more people and maintain a large social circle. At age 60, relationships may become fewer… but more selective.
“We know more who we are. But above all, we know much better what we no longer want”underlines the psychologist.
The relationships that stay are often those in which you can be yourself, without needing to constantly present a good image of yourself.
We compare ourselves less to others
At 30, it’s hard not to look at what others are doing: the one who bought a house, the one who got a promotion, the one who seems to have “made it” before us.
At age 60, these comparisons may lose their importance. Experience has shown that trajectories are rarely as linear as they appear.
And above all, “we feel less need to be appreciated by everyone. The gaze of others has lost its importance.analyzes Amélie Boukhobza.
A freedom that can have a direct effect on well-being.
We appreciate more what our body can still do
At 30, we often pay more attention to our appearance.
At age 60, being able to walk, garden, travel or climb stairs without difficulty can become a real source of satisfaction.
The body is no longer just a question of image: it becomes a precious tool that we wish to preserve.
Some big questions have finally been answered
In your thirties, many doors are still open: career, relationship, children, housing, projects… It’s often exciting, but also stressful.
At 60, some of these big questions have been answered. Not always as you would have imagined, but they no longer require as much mental energy.
“A part of life has been built”recalls Amélie Boukhobza. And with it sometimes comes a form of relief: “We can give up on certain projects more easily, not because we give up on living, but because we can better distinguish what matters from what bothers us.”
We know how to rejoice for others
At 30, a lot of happiness comes from your own successes. At 60, he can also go through those of his loved ones.
A child gets a job, a grandchild learns to swim, a friend receives good news… These events can bring deep joy, without you having to be the cause yourself.
We know that time is precious
Finally, this is probably one of the most important changes.
“At 30, we live a lot with the idea that we have time. At 60, we know that it is not infinite,” explains the psychologist.
This realization can seem distressing. But it can also encourage us to choose better: fewer obligations accepted out of guilt, fewer relationships that exhaust us, less time devoted to what ultimately doesn’t have much importance.
“This consciousness can also produce something else interesting, namely forcing one to choose.”
At 60, would happiness be simpler?
Not necessarily. Getting older obviously does not automatically make you happier. Health, financial difficulties, isolation or life events continue to take a heavy toll on well-being.
But our way of seeking happiness can evolve.
“Research on aging shows that when our time horizon shortens, we tend to prioritize experiences that have immediate emotional value and relationships that really matter”explains Amélie Boukhobza.
So priorities change. And with them, the very definition of a happy life.
“Happiness then perhaps appears less spectacular. It is less about the accumulation of possibilities than about their selection.” continues the psychologist. However, it is much more accessible.
And that is perhaps the whole difference between 30 and 60 years old: at 30 years old, we can seek to multiply the possibilities. At 60, we can try to keep those that really make sense.
“Aging does not automatically make you happier, but it can make you much clearer and more lucid about what you want to live with in your remaining time.”concludes the psychologist.