What’s more annoying than waiting in a line that doesn’t move? Perhaps seeing someone walk past you without a shadow of a qualm. However, impatience is not always the real culprit.
More than a lack of patience, a need for control
According to Spanish psychologist Emilio J. Núñez, this behavior often reflects an excessive need for control.
“We like to control situations, or at least anticipate what might happen, so that we can rely on them and anticipate solutions to consequences“, he explains.
In a queue, uncertainty – “how much longer?” – then becomes unbearable for those who hate not being in control of the course of things. Their solution? Take back control, even if that means shaking up the established order.
Behind the gesture, a hint of narcissism?
Even more troubling: ignoring common rules could be a sign of feeling of superiority.
A study published in 2018 in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science shows that those who believe themselves to be “above” the instructions often present traits of narcissism. Clearly, they believe they deserve different treatment.
Amélie Boukhobza confirms this:
“Even though some people don’t realize it, it’s rarely trivial. These behaviors often reflect a personality that has difficulty with frustration and limits. These are people who have a particular relationship with the rule: it applies to others, but not to them.“.
These “pass-throughs” experience themselves as an exception: their time would be worth more, their urgency would be more legitimate.
“Some do it out of impulsivity, others as a social strategy, because they know that most people will not dare confront them. That’s the worst!” adds the psychologist.
They are actually banking on our social passivitythis tendency not to react for fear of conflict, ridicule or simply to be noticed.
If it makes us angry, it’s not a coincidence
And why does this annoy us so much? Because this small gesture comes clash head-on with our sense of justice.
“In a queue, everyone is on an equal footing. It is a rare space of ordinary democracy“, underlines Amélie Boukhobza. “The one who doubles comes to break this fragile balance, and with him, the confidence in the collective“.
In other words, the person who cuts the line is not only transgressing a rule of politeness: he is negating our constraints, our efforts to remain civilized, and what we try to instill in our children – wait your turn.
But our irritation also says a lot about us:
“We get even more angry if we respect the rules. We hold back, we do the right thing, while others pass by without scruple. So we sigh, we grumble, we look around for an ally in the line… Because deep down, it’s not just a story of place, it’s a story of respect”.
Ultimately, whoever overtakes in line may only gain a few minutes.
But he loses much more: trust and respect for others.