We often speak of domestic violence when they leave visible traces on the body. But what about those who settle in silence, without blows or cries? Emotional violence, more sneaky, is however very real. Difficult to identify, minimized by those around them and sometimes even by the victims themselves, it nevertheless affects a large number of women. Here are the most common signs of this invisible form of violence.
He/she makes fun of you in public
Does your partner make you the target of mockery during family or friends meetings? Far from being content to tell funny anecdotes about you, it makes you openly laugh: your excessive sensitivity, your weight gain related to pregnancy, your way of cooking, what you eat … There is no shortage of an opportunity to ridicule yourself, although it justifies by saying “but, I laugh”.
He/she makes you feel guilty to have a good time without him/she
Take a trivial but revealing example: you go out with friends, you have fun, you log out a bit, nothing abnormal. However, when you return, it blames you for your silence, makes you feel that your happiness without him is a form of abandonment. This kind of reaction is not just a mark of jealousy: it is an insidious way to make you feel guilty for perfectly healthy and legitimate choices. This behavior is often part of a dynamic of emotional control. Without ever clearly formulating what he expects, he pushes you to anticipate his reactions, to censor yourself to avoid his reproaches. Little by little, you feel like you manage to manage your emotions in its place, as if its discomfort depended on your actions. And this is where the trap closes: you no longer act by desire, but for fear of hurting it.
He/she diverts your words to harm you
A weakness, a mistake, a moment of doubt … Everything you share with your partner later becomes a reproach tool, or worse, a way to lower you. It’s not just clumsiness, it is a form of emotional manipulation.
He/she constantly threatens you
He does not hesitate to threaten you to put pressure on you and get what he wants. For example, he can say things like: “If you don’t do that, I leave you” or “if you don’t agree with me, I’m going”. This type of behavior aims to keep you in a permanent state of anxiety. You end up monitoring each of your gestures, wanting to constantly satisfy them, simply to avoid its ultimatums.
He/she criticizes the way you think
Emotional violence can also manifest itself by a systematic questioning of your abilities. For example, your partner claims that you are unable to make a decision alone, that you need the validation of others. This type of discourse aims to weaken your self -confidence, and make you believe that you need it for everything. As a result, you come to doubt your own judgment and to believe that you cannot move forward without its approval or its validation.
He/she does not respect your limits
In a healthy relationship, everyone should be able to lay their own limits and see the other respect them. However, your partner insists on forcing you to do things that you refuse, like accessing your phone for example. By not respecting your limits, he encroaches in your space and your freedom. So many gestures that hide a subtle but real form of emotional violence.
He/she makes you responsible for your couple problems
Your partner makes you bear responsibility for all the problems that arise in your relationship. This constantly maintained guilt leads you to think that it is up to you to redouble their efforts to repair what it accuses you of having destroyed.