For a few years, have you missed all your dates? Perhaps it is because you are missing … this little “thing” that makes the difference. And it is of course neither a new hairstyle, nor an XXL charisma, but quite simply an expert advice. Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, precisely reveals the secret of a successful romantic meeting.
Watch out for the lack of clarity
The miracle recipe for a romantic meeting to go well is always the same: you have to be … aligned. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Relationship expert, confirms it: knowing your own expectations is the best way to meet love.
“When you don’t know what you expect from a relationship, meetings are more likely to be exhausted and disconnected rather than Epanoui”, he confided in the columns of the magazine Psychology Today.
In other words, you risk chaining the dates until exhaustion (or even disgust). The expert insists on the damage that can result from this lack of clarity. “”Blurred dating objectives create vague relationships “, he confirms.
This can make “More difficult to identify alarm signals, encourages to fall in love too quickly or have an opportunity with the ideal person “, Finally add the specialist.
So how do you better know your needs and expectations? Here is the answer.
You have to be in “in accordance with yourself and its values”
According to the psychologist, it is possible to reach a certain relational clarity … by asking the right questions.
“”You have to start by thinking about your past relationships. Ask yourself what worked, what didn’t work and what you learned about your needs “he explains.
An opinion shared by Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
“Knowing what you want, what you don’t want, what you need … is essential. And above all, you shouldn’t be afraid to say it. Clearly: to be yourself, in accordance with yourself and your values. It is the best thing to do during a romantic meeting”, she recognizes.
But it is not a question here of please at all costs. “”Anyway, chase the natural, he is galloping. So what is the point of playing a role? “, recalls the expert.
“When you know your own” contours “, any meeting is more fluid: you know how far you are ready to go, which really matters, and what we will not accept”, specifies the specialist.
Please note: it is not of course a question of revealing everything at once: it would be likely to be scary. “Nevertheless, keeping this information in mind saves time and avoiding wasting the other in a relationship that would have no chance of agreeing. Because there is nothing worse than getting into a wobbly story, simply because you have not dared to say no, or put a limit from the start. So yes, before seeking to seduce, clarify your needs”, advises the practitioner.
“”This is the condition for a meeting not only pleasant … but that it has a real chance to last. Provided, of course, that this is the objective sought“Concludes Amélie Boukhobza.