In France, 30% of men are not satisfied with the duration of their sexual relations. In question? An ejaculation which would occur too early for their liking. And that would deprive them of a satisfactory performance, while hurting their ego in the process. In any case, it is the announcement of an article in Le Parisien on January 22, which lifts the veil on this unhappiness.
What do we really call being precocious in sex?
Would a third of men be incapable of enjoying a sexual relationship as they wish? The complaint is in fact the most heard in consultation in the office of Gianpaolo Furgiuele, sexologist and therapist in Marseille.
In reality, the notion of premature ejaculation is difficult to assess because everyone can have their own feelings about it. Its medical definition, however, is much shorter than you probably think. “It depends on the definition you give..
If it is strict, of the order of one minute maximum, this affects 4% of men. But the WHO classification is more flexible and according to its criteria, it is estimated that one in three men is dissatisfied with the precocity of their ejaculation. It is therefore a more frequent discomfort”, indicates urological surgeon Éric Huyghe in Le Parisien.
For Gianpaolo Furgiuele, knowing who is affected by premature ejaculation is also a question of definition. “The notion of “performance” has evolved a lot. For example, in the early 20th century, being efficient meant “going fast.” It was only from the 1960s, with the work of Masters and Johnson and then Kaplan, that a more modern definition emerged: “Premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs too early, generally before or shortly after penetration.” Which includes many more men.
A lot of pressure, and unrealistic expectations also play a role
If cases of premature ejaculation really have biological or mechanical causes, the sexologist also believes that certain factors can also lead to these “shortened” sessions.like the way a man learned to masturbate”but also the management of stress or excitement. Unrealistic expectations, often amplified by pornography, are also believed to be a big part of the problem.
“If certain erroneous beliefs come from stereotypes conveyed by pornography (which values the duration of the act), it is also true that many women today express different expectations. Many ask their partners to be more enduring. They even encourage consultation, something which demonstrates a more active role and the affirmation of women in intimate life, much more different from past generations”, he observes.
Finding the right support to move forward
For the expert, if the timing of ejaculation is experienced as a “problem” (this is not always the case), it is necessary to distinguish between biological factors, learned patterns or cultural pressures. “Treatment, whether based on exercises, therapy or a better understanding of one’s body, remains an accessible solution today.
he reassures.
- Certain drug treatments have demonstrated their effectiveness in the management of premature ejaculation. “These solutions, often used in conjunction with therapy, can help slightly extend intercourse time and reduce performance anxiety.”
- Abdominal breathing, the stop and go technique or even focusing exercises offered as a couple are also among the many tools used in sex therapy. “These approaches allow us to better understand sensations, develop better control over arousal and strengthen the connection within the couple,”
underlines the sexologist. - Finally, according to the testimonies collected by the Parisian, better communication with one’s partner, and the fact of sharing one’s anxieties and moving forward or consulting together can also help to free oneself from these dictates of performance. And better find a timing together.
And if we only needed a single number to unwind these gentlemen, let’s remember that according to the Zavamed 2024 study, on the actual duration of our lovemaking, the average duration of sexual intercourse in France is… 5.4 minutes. This puts things into perspective.