In a world where everything is accelerating and where the culture of swiping is taking root even for our meetings, a new love trend is emerging, Slow Love. A gentler, slower form of dating in which people take as much time as they want before committing. Why this slowdown among young couples, which is similar to anti-love at first sight? Christian Richomme, psychoanalyst and specialist in emotional relationships, observed the movement
The reaction to a society too fast
For him, this much slower encounter is a real paradigm shift. “While before, love was perceived as an immediate impulse, it becomes a long and thoughtful selection process. This slowing down is both a way to better choose one’s partner and a protection against suffering.” Because yes, if young couples give themselves time today, it is in response to yesterday’s traumas.
The fear of failure in love is there
With divorces and separations on the rise, commitment is increasingly seen as a risk. We no longer want to “make a mistake” and suffer needlessly. “I observe in my practice a growing fear of commitment, not out of rejection of love, but out of fear of reliving a painful failure. Slow Love is an attempt to secure the bond.”
Dating apps have pulled too hard
By offering a multitude of choices, dating apps encourage constant comparison and make commitment more difficult. Infinite access to profiles creates an illusion of unlimited choice. Result: we hesitate, we compare, we postpone commitment for fear of missing out on the best option.”
Independence elevated to priority
Finally, new generations give a central place to their personal and professional development, in which love must be integrated, and not the other way around.“Slow Love is also a way of preserving your space, of not losing yourself in a relationship and of existing fully as an individual.”
Does Slow Love allow you to find true love?
Certainly, this Slow Love, slower and more thoughtful, moves away from the great passionate impulses which nourish our imagination in matters of great love. It can also lead to too much idealization without ever really allowing one to take the plunge. But it’s not necessarily negative. For the expert, this way of approaching the couple would also have the advantage of promoting better compatibility in the long term, reducing hasty failures and creating deeper and more balanced relationships.
A new paradigm that gives us the opportunity to healthily rethink our romantic relationships.
“Love has never been a race. Slowing down is not a problem, as long as we remain open to the other’s experience. The important thing is to know if what we call caution is real reflection… or disguised fear.” concludes the psychoanalyst.