We often imagine it as a suspended, perfect, unforgettable moment. For some, marriage would even be “the happiest day of a life “But between pressure, expectations and unforeseen events, the reality is sometimes quite different.
Wanting a perfect wedding can ruin the party
When you prepare for your wedding for months, it’s hard not to plan ahead. The decoration, the dress, the meal, the music, the guests… Everything is thought out down to the smallest detail. The problem is that the higher the expectations, the greater the risk of disappointment.
“However, in reality, we must remain open to the unexpected“, recalls Pascal Anger. Because according to him, absolutely wanting everything to go exactly as planned can quickly become a source of frustration.
“It rains when we hadn’t thought about it, or on the contrary it’s very hot. There are more guests than expected. The DJ plays some bad music… Unforeseen events are almost inevitable. But in six months you’ll laugh about it and look at the photos “, explains the specialist.
For him, these little grains of sand should not take up all the space. Here, the word “problem” should be put aside: solutions must be sought.
The psychologist also insists on one last point, which is very true: every wedding day passes extremely quickly. However, by wanting to control everything, some married people end up not enjoying it at all…
Family, organization, pressure: what can weigh on D-day
Obviously, marriage is never just about the future spouses. Parents, in-laws, witnesses or friends sometimes have a lot of expectations too (on the number of guests, choice of menu, photos, etc.). And this can quickly become a big source of tension.
To avoid frustration, the specialist advises talking about what you really want. Because behind the celebration, there is also an essential question: what do we really expect from this day?
“Is partying ultimately what matters most?“, he continues.
Whether we spend the evening on the dance floor or more calmly chatting with loved ones, the important thing is elsewhere: it’s the moment experienced, the T moment.”Your loved ones are also there for you, to make you have a good time“, recalls the psychologist.
With this in mind, even a smaller wedding than expected (or without fireworks) can leave a great memory. “Even with fewer guests than expected, this will not prevent you from having a warm and friendly moment.“, he emphasizes.
Ultimately, the success of a wedding often depends less on the number of guests or the budget than on the feelings of the bride and groom themselves.
How to avoid wasting this day?
Stressing before the big day is completely normal. Between the mental load, the organization and the emotion, it’s difficult even to escape it.
“There will inevitably be emotion and stress. Because we are going to give our all to ensure that this day is magnificent“, notes Pascal Anger.
However, the psychologist advises not to forget yourself during this day. “You also need to take moments to breathe, relax, take a break, breathe…“. In other words: agree to let go at times.
The specialist also reminds us that we are the master of this day. “You have to try not to be too stressed at the slightest surprise. It’s also up to us not to waste this day. “
Finally, Pascal Anger insists on the importance of keeping in mind what really matters.
“We spend a lot of time preparing for a wedding. So, we must not disappoint each other (or get angry!), nor experience this day as a disappointment. Ultimately, perhaps a wedding doesn’t have to be perfect to become a truly beautiful memory. We must keep in mind happiness, joy, enthusiasm, creativity. Feeling proud and happy to be in this day, in this moment “, concludes the psychologist.