On his Instagram account, Baptiste Carreira Mellier, psychologist and neuropsychologist, dismantles a formula that is very visible on the networks: often feeling rejected is not enough to suggest ADHD. This feeling exists, can be painful, but it is not specific to this disorder.
Rejection sensitivity is not a test for ADHD
We often hear it on social networks: “If you feel rejected all the time, you may have ADHD.”. The expert quotes it to better qualify it:
“Except there’s one problem: Rejection sensitivity is not specific to ADHD.”
In psychology, rejection sensitivity refers to a tendency to
anxiously await rejectionto quickly spot signs that could announce it and to react strongly when we think we are being distanced. In other words, it is not simply “being touchy” or “too sensitive”: it is a form of relational alert that can become invasive.
The example given in the video is telling: you send a message, the person doesn’t respond, and your interpretation quickly shifts to: “she’s mad at me”, “I did something bad” or “she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore”. This scenario can happen in different psychological contexts: anxiety, weakened self-esteem, past experiences of rejection, difficult personal history, or even relationship difficulties.
This is whyno advice on social networks does not replace a clinical evaluation. The diagnosis of ADHD is based on a set of lasting symptoms of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity, present in several contexts and associated with an impact on daily life. To better understand these criteria, you can consult our page on symptoms of ADHD in adults.
What science allows us to say, without shortcuts
Research has found links between ADHD symptoms and sensitivity to rejection. But this is precisely where we must avoid the shortcut: association is not causation. A statistical link or testimonials from affected people do not prove that sensitivity to rejection is a symptom specific to ADHD, nor that it is a direct consequence.
For some people with ADHD, difficulties with emotional regulation and complicated social experiences can make rejection situations more salient. But these manifestations are not exclusive to ADHD. They can also be part of a fear of rejection and lack of confidence, or of social anxiety, especially when avoidance takes up a lot of space.
Another important nuance: the term “rejection-sensitive dysphoria”, often abbreviated RSD in English, circulates a lot on networks in content related to ADHD. It can help some people put suffering into words, but it does not, on its own, constitute a recognized diagnosis or an official criterion for ADHD.
Why avoidance sometimes fuels fear
The expert insists on a very concrete mechanism: when we anticipate rejection, we can distance ourselves before even knowing what the other person really thinks. At the moment,
avoidance can provide short-term relief. The problem is that it can also prevent you from checking what really happened.
If you leave, stop responding, cancel an outing, or cut the connection as soon as you feel threatened, you won’t know if the person was truly distant, busy, awkward, or simply unavailable. Over time, avoidance can even weaken the relationship we were trying to protect. It is also a mechanism found in social anxiety and avoidance of social situations.
The right reflex is therefore not to label yourself based on an isolated feeling. Rather, the useful question is the one posed in the video: why has rejection become such a significant threat? This may invite exploring several avenues:
- The fear of having disappointed or disturbed the other;
- Past experiences of rejection, humiliation or exclusion;
- Difficulty tolerating uncertainty in a relationship;
- The habit of protecting oneself by withdrawing very quickly.
If this fear takes up a lot of space, alters relationships or causes lasting suffering, talking about it with a trained professional can help to understand what makes rejection so threateningwithout reducing the entire personal story to a single explanation.