Did you know? Our beauty routines unconsciously reveal our way of attaching and bonding, according to psychoanalyst Christian Richomme.
In this whirlwind of the quest for meaning, the beauty ritual, long considered futile, turns out to be an emotional thermometer: 72% of women consider it a “moment of psychological well-being before being aesthetic”. What we apply to our skin therefore tells what we carry in our heart.
The 4 beauty profiles that reveal your way of loving
Our beauty gestures are not only used to please: they are used to exist and, above all, to love. This link between the psyche and care draws four major ritual profiles.
- Those who wear makeup to “hold” are characterized by anxious attachment.
“The ritual is armor for them“, specifies Christian Richomme. “If you feel like you have to put on your lipstick just before your partner wakes up, your action could betray a deep-seated fear of being seen ‘as is’“. According to him, these women are also constantly striving for complexion perfection and strong signals (bright lipstick, spectacular eyelashes).
“Their hidden message: ‘Tell me I’m desirable’. They seek recognition in the gaze as proof of love, relying on appearance to reassure themselves and reinforce fragile self-esteem.”
- Those that are the most natural have a secure attachment.
“Makeup is a pleasure for them, not a necessity. They don’t fall apart if they go out without foundation.”. These women use textures and colors as a game; the ritual is slow, centered on facial massage and the application of a soothing cream.
“Their hidden message: ‘I refocus and calm down’. Their beauty is a moment for themselves. Their confidence comes from within and their preparation reflects their ability to create intimacy with themselves, before others” adds the expert.
- Those who focus everything on details are characterized by avoidant attachment.
“They control their image like a personal territory to protect, leaving nothing to chance. explains Christian Richomme. Their gesture: impeccable eyebrows, perfect manicure, discreet but very identifiable perfume. They have an extremely rigorous and often expensive routine.
“Their hidden message: ‘I show what I want, but not everything’. They control the distance. Care is a way of remaining in control and not letting the other fully penetrate their vulnerability..
- Those who change all the time have a disorganized attachment.
“Beauty fluctuates with mood. They go from ‘all to nothing’ depending on their emotional state“, he further specifies. Their gesture: impulsive purchases of new products every week, then a phase of sudden neglect. The ritual is in a way an emotional refuge.
“Their beauty is a way of managing intense and changing emotions, reflecting a difficulty in stabilizing their own image and, by extension, their emotional ties.”
Decoding the language of gestures within the couple
Beauty gestures often reveal what we dare not say.
- Lipstick is the gesture of affirmation, of the desire for visibility and the reconquest of one’s own power;
- The slowly massaged cream is the symbol of a need for softness, self-soothing, a return to maternal care for oneself;
- Perfume is an emotional signature. It marks presence, but above all sensory memory, very important in the link;
- The face mask is the moment of withdrawal, the need for deep repair.
“One in two women say they feel more loved when they take the time to get ready. And 64% say that a compliment on their appearance boosts their self-esteem more than any other gesture from their partner. concludes the expert.