Discreet and rational, extremely dynamic and autonomous: isolated people – who cannot “press the shoulder of a friend or family member – often present the same profile … and the same habits. Here are five of their characteristic behaviors.
They shift their needs
These people never ask for help. “It is not really an excess of pride. They simply learned to fend for themselves, convinced that no one would come to support them. So they act permanently. Even when the effort exhausts them or that the difficulty becomes overwhelming,” Affirms Amélie Boukhobza.
Thus, “we rarely see them complaining or collapsing. It is not their mode of communication, their pain is silent. Repressed, minimized. They have joined their needs would always pass afterwards, ” continues the psychologist.
They avoid conflicts
“Or on the contrary, they explode for everything and nothing. Without a solid emotional basis, the slightest tension becomes an earthquake and balance can vacillate. So we avoid or attack immediately, in a permanent defensive mode, to never be destabilized”, reveals the practitioner.
They argue other spheres
“Work, a lot. Sport, thoroughly. Networks, why not or something else … spaces they control, where they don’t depend on anyone. Because depending is risking being abandoned. And that is unthinkable”, indicates the expert.
They are often there for others
“But not the opposite. They listen, support, advise. But have no one to call when it goes bad. And the worst part is that they do nothing to change this point .. and that’s a bit there.” underlines the psychologist.
They rationalize everything
“They say to themselves that” anyway, people disappoint “.” That we have to fend for themselves in life “. And that” it’s better like that, finally “. It is a way of holding loneliness at a distance – almost convincing themselves that they have chosen it. Behind these mechanisms, often, hide old injuries. A lack of bond that has left traces … and this immense fear of trusting, engaging, creating reciprocity “, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.