During the holidays, spending more time with your child can quickly turn in the standoff if you only know blackmail or punishment. The papapositive parenting expert offers five simple and benevolent approaches to obtain the cooperation of his child without threats or sanctions.
Replace “if” by “as soon as”
Papapositive advises to use the formula “As soon as this is done, you will play the ball …“Rather than the classic punitive conditions. This turn establishes a logical sequence of actions, understandable and reassuring for the child, without a feeling of constraint or blackmail.
Offer love, attention and empathetic listening
Reassuring their child on its importance and value promotes voluntary obedience. Papapositive invites you to say “I love you because you are you“,”I look at you“,”I listen to you“,”I see that you are injured/sad …“In order to feed his emotional security. A child who feels understood and loved is more ready to cooperate.
Underline positive behavior
Describe what is observed positive encourages the child to repeat this behavior. Papapositive recommends: “I like to watch you do this …“, A sentence which serves as a concrete mark to memorize and reproduce the desired action.
Offer choices
Let a child decide between two clear options gives him a feeling of control and responsibility. Say for example: “Do you prefer to wash your teeth now or after putting your pajamas?“Transform the request into an invitation to participate, rather than in order.
Show the logical consequences
Rather than judging or punishing, it is more effective to bring the child to think about the effects of his decisions. Faced with a choice like wearing sandals in the rain, you can ask: “How will your feet outside? Is it pleasant?“And let it find a solution. This method empowers and strengthens learning.