We all know a person who always arrives at his ends, whatever the difficulties. The one who won the coveted post, who manages to convince even the most reluctant, or for whom everything seems to line up at the right time. But how does she do it? Is it because she has more presence? Because it argues better? Or simply because it is innate? In reality, it would seem that this faculty is not the result of chance. Behind this apparent ease are hidden from very specific skills: self -confidence, control of communication, social intelligence and strategy. Good news: all this can be learned and work. According to Kathy and Ross Petras, two experts in language psychology, it is enough to say the right words, in the right way, at the right time.
Favor the “you” at “I”
According to experts, this is the most effective persuasion strategy. When you use the “you”, you show your interlocutor that you take his needs and opinions in consideration. “”When you make your interlocutor feel that he counts for you, he is more receptive to your speech and your attempts at persuasion“Explains Kathy Petras, expert in language psychology.
Use the “you” rather than the “you” to contact a group
Faced with a group, we naturally tend to use the “you” to appear more formal. “”However, studies show that the use of “you” makes the message more natural and more efficient. Thus, you are more able to create a link with your audience“, Specifies Ross Petras.
Bet on the terms “we”, “our” and “ours”
“We”, “our” and “ours” are all pronouns which indicate that you consider yourself as part of the team. They promote a feeling of unity and collaboration. By placing yourself as a partner of your listeners, they will be more open to your message, because you collaborate with them instead of imposing your point of view.
Call the person by his first name
People like to be called by their first name: it gives them the impression of being important. “”However, don’t do too much! If you repeat the first name of the person constantly, you risk appearing not very sincere and making the right impression that you had given him at the start“Prevents Kathy Petras.
Repeat yourself, but differently
Return to your main idea several times, by reusing certain keywords, strengthens the impact of your message. It is not a question of repeating yourself mechanically, but of reaffirming two or three times the idea that you defend, by slightly varying the formulation. The experts insist: it is this subtlety that makes all the difference.
Do not be satisfied with figures and theories
Do not limit yourself to listing figures or abstract concepts. Kathy and Ross Petras recommend making your messages more personal. “”Studies show that so -called catchy ideas are easier to remember and accept. So when you are looking to convince someone, don’t just expose your idea in a raw manner. Take up a lived story to illustrate why it works“, they detail.
Choose your words carefully
Practuring words arouse strong emotions, often unconsciously. “”It all depends on what you are looking to get, but terms like “proven”, “easy” or “new” can make all the difference“, Ross Petras analysis.
Ask rhetorical questions
Rhetorical questions are powerful persuasion tools. By encouraging reflection without requiring an answer, they capture attention, engage the audience and discreetly guide it to the idea you want to pass.
Add a “because” to your requests or ideas
“I need you to do this because …”, “this new concept can suit us because …”. The use of “because” gives the impression of a founded reasoning, which makes your interlocutors more inclined to adhere to it. In the same spirit, expressions expressing a cause and effect relationship such as “therefore”, “since” or “This is why” reinforce the credibility of your argument.