Every year, the same scene repeats itself: an avalanche of promotions, scarlet banners announcing “-50%”, aggressive countdowns and influencers who swear that they have “waited for this offer all year”. Black Friday has established itself as an almost unmissable moment… and incredibly tempting. But why does this period suddenly give us the impression that everything is essential?
Black Friday, designed to encourage us to buy
Black Friday is (well) designed to trigger an almost automatic reaction in us. Massive promotions activate a very powerful psychological mechanism: the fear of missing out. The idea that “it’s now or never” pushes us to decide more quickly, to put products in our basket that we had never considered buying the day before.
On a biological level, these periods of strong reductions stimulate dopamine, this neurotransmitter linked to pleasure and reward. Buying a good deal therefore activates the same circuit as eating a delicious dessert, being congratulated or falling in love. It’s a shot of instant gratification, accessible in one click.
In a previous article, Dr Guillaume Camelot, psychiatrist, explained it: “In people suffering from oniomania in particular, there is a disruption of the reward circuit involving dopamine. The person seeks sensations and feels a lack when deprived of them.” If this is true for people suffering from compulsions, we understand to what extent a period like Black Friday can become a real trap even for a normally reasonable consumer.
Why do we give in more easily? What this says about us
Our purchases are never neutral. They respond to material needs, of course, but also, and above all, to emotional realities. A stressful day, a feeling of loneliness, accumulated frustration… and suddenly, a basket fills up.
Sabrina Julien Sweerts, lecturer in clinical psychology, recalls that “Compulsive buying is linked to emotional deprivation and emotional dysregulation.. According to her, the purchase acts like a mini-anxiolytic: it allows you to calm discomfort, soothe an uncomfortable emotion, and feel momentarily valued. But this satisfaction is fleeting. “The object can relieve anxiety or discomfort, but it causes shame and guilt, and the person will buy again… It’s a real vicious circle.”she adds.
In reality, giving in during Black Friday is not a sign of weakness: it is often a way of comforting yourself. In a society where we greatly value possessions, where social networks expose idealized lives made up of the latest objects, it is almost normal to think that buying will make us happier, more complete. The problem is that this effect never lasts very long.
What if it was oniomania?
It is still important to say it clearly: taking advantage of a promotion is not pathological. But when purchases become repetitive, uncontrolled, and generate real emotional or financial discomfort, it may be a disorder called oniomania.
Recognized by the WHO as an impulse control disorder, like gambling addiction, compulsive buying goes well beyond a “little pleasure”. Dr. Camelot describes this disorder as “repeated impulsive purchases, despite the harmful consequences they cause”.
We also distinguish two different realities:
- Impulsive buyingtriggered by a promotion or a sudden desire. Occasional, and not problematic;
- Compulsive buyingmotivated by internal needs: filling a void, calming an emotion, regaining a feeling of control. This creates suffering, guilt and sometimes debt.
Black Friday can become an eye-opener: if this period triggers stress, loss of control or a shopping frenzy that is difficult to stop, this may be worth exploring with a professional.
How to resist Black Friday?
Good news: there are, however, effective strategies to regain power over our purchasing desires, without completely depriving ourselves of pleasure.
- Slow down the action. As Dr. Camelot advises in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), introducing a simple break can be a game-changer: “If you are tempted to make a purchase while surfing on your computer, you can walk outside for 5 minutes to ask yourself if this purchase is necessary.” This micro-delay is often enough to make the impulse subside;
- Make the purchase more “difficult”. Yes, it is possible to do violence to yourself by making the task more complicated: simply delete the saved cards, deactivate promotional notifications, set a precise budget with envelopes…
The more steps the purchase requires, the less impulsive it is; - Reconnect with your emotions. Finally, it is always good to ask yourself: “What am I trying to calm down by purchasing? Boredom? Stress? Tiredness?” Sometimes a break, a glass of water or a call to a loved one provides the same comfort… without emptying the bank account.
The BISOU method: your anti-urge ally
Finally, the BISOU method is a simple and formidable tool for thwarting unnecessary purchases. Before taking out your card, we review:
B – Need: Is it really essential?
I – Immediate: Should I buy it now?
S – Similar: Don’t I already have something similar?
O – Origin: Is the product durable and well made?
U – Useful: Will it really be useful to me in the long term?
This method alone can reveal the majority of impulsive purchases. And often, the answer becomes obvious: no, this umpteenth pastel pink toaster was not a vital need.
In reality, behind our frenzied Black Friday desires lies much more than just good deals: a need for comfort, an emotional connection to the purchase, sometimes silent suffering or difficulty managing certain emotions. But understanding this mechanism is already starting to free oneself from it. And put in your basket only what will be a real saving.