Do you know the 30-second rule? Popularized by the successful author John C. Maxwell, it is an ultra -simple technique, adopted by the best communicators.
Say a sincere compliment to the other
The principle of this method is simple: to slide a positive, sincere word, on your interlocutor from the start of an exchange. Work, appointment, dinner with friends … It works everywhere.
How to explain it? Simply because it refers to a fundamental human need: to feel recognized.
What should be pronounced exactly?
Of course, the compliment must be founded. This can be a remark on a dress detail, quality, recent success, or even a simple word of gratitude. For example, in a meeting, you can congratulate a colleague for a well formulated idea. In the evening, compliment the musical choice or the decoration of your host or, during a date, welcome the holding or the choice of your partner’s restaurant. But beware, all this must be done with sincerity.
“”Those who value us attract us, those who lower us repel us“Insists John C. Maxwell. So there is no question of doing automatic flattery, but rather of establishing an atmosphere of trust and mutual listening.
Why is this emotional reflex so powerful?
This technique works because it acts directly on our emotional system. Compliment an immediate reaction: our body releases dopamine, our vigilance increases, our posture opens. We become more attentive, warmer, more willing to listen to.
And the effect is twofold, because this gesture also benefits those who initiate it. Indeed, a sincere compliment gives you the image of a person who is both confident, benevolent and attentive. This instantly improves your social attractiveness, even if you are usually reserved or clumsy in your relationships.
How to adopt this rule easily on a daily basis?
No need to be an expert in speaking to apply this method. It is particularly useful precisely for introverted people, who are struggling to find the right words.
The hardest part is to identify this positive detail that can make the difference. Once you have found it, express it in a simple, direct sentence, with a smile. And above all, do not try to impress: the goal is to please, not to put yourself forward.
With a little practice, this reflex becomes natural. And the benefits are quickly felt, in all areas. Clinical psychologist Amélie Boukhobza confirmed this in a previous article. “”You have to challenge your spouse positively. Valorizing it is also often effective in obtaining its attention“. Up to you !