As unknown as it is devastating, this obsessive compulsive disorder manifests itself by intrusive and recurrent thoughts around the romantic relationship. These constant doubts poison everyday life and push to constantly seek emotional validation. And contrary to popular belief, it is not only a question of lacking love or being undecided: it is a deep mental mechanism which can become handicapping.
How to recognize a couple’s OCD?
According to clinical psychologist Claire Petin, interviewed by Psychologiesit is normal to feel ups and downs in a relationship. But as part of a couple’s OCD, thoughts become so oppressive that they impose themselves to the point of engulfing any form of mental clarity. These doubts do not pass: they obsess, generate permanent anxiety and trigger compulsive behaviors to try to calm them.
The people affected spend hours ruminating, questioning their partner or frantically consulting forums. The slightest sign becomes an index to analyze. This hypervigilance pushes to seek immediate answers, even if it means moving away from his own emotions. Like a drug, this quest for certainty becomes a habit which is difficult to get rid of.
Rodolphe Hurlot, a psychopratician quoted by the current woman, observes that women would be more concerned. The disorder could find its roots in trauma, strict education, low self -esteem or strong intolerance to doubt. To this is often added an idealization of the couple, making any imperfection unbearable.
What are the consequences on the couple and self -esteem?
The impact on the couple is brutal. The partner becomes despite himself the receptacle of all anxieties: he is questioned, tested, scrutinized. By wanting to reassure, he involuntarily maintains disorder, trapped in an endless cycle. The relationship becomes exhausting, both for those who doubt that for those who are undergoing.
This mechanism of permanent doubt can alter self -confidence and the perception of feelings. By dint of questioning himself, the affected person no longer knows if he really likes, if he is loved, or if all this is only a lure. This emotional vagueness can lead to anxiety attacks, depression, even a break, sometimes without objective reason.
What solutions to get out of it?
It is possible to get out of this vicious circle. For Claire Petin, the first step is to consult a psychologist specializing in cognitive and behavioral therapy (TCC). This type of therapy allows you to learn to identify obsessive thoughts and to reduce its impact. On average, six months of follow -up are necessary, often accompanied by acceptance and commitment therapy.
In some cases, drug treatment can be offered in addition. The main thing remains to be patient: progress is often slow, and symptoms can reappear temporarily. But with accompaniment, it is quite possible to find a peaceful love life.
Claire Petin concludes: “You have to be patience and perseverance. Some symptoms that seemed to have disappeared may temporarily resurface“. A disorder that can be tamed, provided you talk about it and get help.