A parent in a wheelchair who is assumed to be incapable. A blind mother being told how to protect her baby. A family observed in every gesture. For parents with disabilities, these scenes are not exceptional. They feed a silent fear: that a doubt, sometimes unfounded, will end up triggering an intervention from social services. An investigation by the daily Le Monde sheds light on the daily lives of these parents, like the others.
This “presumption of incompetence” remains difficult to measure. No national statistics record the number of parents concerned, nor the proportion of worrying information or placements linked to disability. However, testimonies describe a daily life where you have to prove your ability to raise your child more than others.
When every gesture becomes proof of competence
The remarks sometimes start in the street. A passerby chases a blind mother to tell her that her baby’s head is in the sun. Another person takes a child in the arms of a mother in a wheelchair without asking her consent. These interventions may seem trivial. Repeated several times a day, they become heavy and destabilizing.
The view of these families oscillates between admiration and suspicion. Parenthood can be presented as heroic, but also as dangerous or irresponsible. Some professionals ask questions about the organization of the home while the baby is perfectly healthy. In maternity wards and emergency rooms, protocols designed for able-bodied people further complicate the simplest actions: carrying the child, undressing him or staying with him during an examination.
The fear of being reported weighs on families
Disability can quickly be associated with a notion of risk. A blind mother says worrying information was passed on after a professional saw her let go of her daughter’s hand just meters from a nursery. The situation had an explanation, but no one had asked him directly what had happened.
For the parents concerned, the fear is then to see a misunderstood concern transform into suspicion about their abilities. Professionals in the sector also mention reports linked to the absence of human or material resources enabling support to be adapted. There is a lack of data to know the extent of the phenomenon. In this context, associations are calling for practices that favor dialogue, the concrete assessment of needs and adapted aid rather than an automatic reading of the disability.
Help exists to prepare for parenthood
CapParents services offer specialized support, from conception until the child turns 18. Equivalent devices have been deployed in each region of mainland France since 2024. They can help prepare for a birth, test equipment, adapt a changing station or consider safety when traveling.
The sessions are personalized. A childcare assistant can show how to dress a baby, give a bath or dose a bottle. An occupational therapist can work at home. A midwife, psychologist or social worker can also participate in monitoring. Families can also inquire at their departmental center for disabled people about their rights. The parental disability compensation benefit, created in 2021, already concerns 14,000 parents eligible for human or technical assistance, until the child is 7 years old.