The departure of children marks an important turning point in the lives of parents, particularly for single parents who find themselves alone at this stage. However, this period can be an opportunity to give yourself a second chance at love. Pascal Anger, psychologist and author of the book “The couple and the other” (Editions L’Harmattan) deciphers this new way of loving.
The departure of children opens the door to new opportunities
The departure of children is often an emotionally difficult time. Because we find ourselves facing ourselves – and facing our life – which can be terribly empty from a loving point of view.
According to a study conducted by “DisonsDemain” among 1,129 singles, “14% of parents experience this moment with a lot of sadness”, but for almost half of the respondents (45%), this departure is above all an opportunity to rediscover themselves, and for 20%, to concentrate on romantic encounters.
The departure of the children actually leads everyone to reorganize their daily lives: 32% of participants expressed the desire to meet someone (quickly, quickly, a candlelit dinner)… and 23% want to take advantage of this free time to devote themselves to new activities.
A love life to reinvent
This new life without constraints can finally allow you to dive back into the deep end of love. Moreover, for the single people interviewed, finding love again after 50 is a “real desire“for 51% of them, and one”nice surprise” for 29%.
Their expectations regarding these new relationships are clear:
- 32% seek tenderness and intimacy;
- 28% expect complicity and deep discussions;
- 27% want to build a new life project.
The absence of children is therefore not necessarily synonymous with distress or melancholy but can be experienced as free time to rediscover oneself, to explore new activities, and to meet new people.
“The departure of children is not only a moment of transition, it is an opportunity to refocus on oneself and reinvest in one’s daily life. This period can open the way to new encounters and personal projects which were sometimes put aside during family life”, comments Julie Deffontaines, Marketing Director of DisonsDemain.
A period possibly rich in surprises
In your fifties, it happens that you find yourself alone, without having yet found love.
“Faced with this emptiness, letting yourself be surprised by what can come is wonderful, without expecting any emotional security in return,” says Pascal Anger, psychologist. Indeed, at this age, we often don’t want to share a daily life and the libido also evolves.
Moreover, men and women experience this period differently:
- Women may feel less glamorous, like they can no longer seduce;
- Men, for their part, can experience a resurgence of youth and desire.
In this key period, rethinking the couple and love is therefore necessary.
“Above all, I advise going towards what you love, to relearn how to please yourself. Allowing yourself time for well-being and experiencing these encounters in a fun way is also a good idea. Finally, learning to look at yourself differently, to accept yourself as you are is necessary”, admits the specialist.
So in summary: yes, at 50, it is still possible to meet someone. “This implies giving oneself the means for this encounter, without excessive ideals or prejudices. To do this, you must stop being in representations and above all not delude yourself (no, your charming neighbor may not show up with a huge bouquet of red roses).
Another key point: you must also accept that meeting and building a relationship happens at your own pace. Finally, view past experiences not as failures, but as experiences.
“This new freedom – without children – can be disconcerting and embarrassing: we don’t always know what to do with it. But by taking a step back, trusting yourself and cultivating a certain lightness, it is possible to transform this stage of life into a rich, fulfilling period full of surprises”, concludes Pascal Anger.