Every Sunday, it’s the same thing: you are seated – by force – at your in-laws’ house. To (not) change, they serve you their inevitable roast chicken and shower you with banalities. Work, children, vacations and even your neighbor’s wardrobe… nothing escapes their curiosity. And you, you suffocate. Here’s how to change this situation… for good.
A routine… not always so negative
Contrary to appearances, routine can also have good sides.
“It provides a certain stability, especially for children, and creates reassuring benchmarks. Sharing a meal every Sunday, for example, can become a moment of bonding and reunion. Routine therefore does not only have negative effects”, recalls Pascal Anger.
Let’s take the example of Sunday lunches at the in-laws’ house, always around the same roast chicken. “Beyond the menu, it’s a whole habit that develops and that we can enjoy,” he specifies.
But when said chicken comes out of our eyes – just like the conversations discussed – what should we do? In this case, it is possible to question this ritual.
“Routine can offer a feeling of security, but it can also confine… and make you want something new. Yes, we have the right to want to experience Sundays that are a little different!” relates the expert.
The only question to ask is this:“Am I a fanciful person who needs change? Or am I comfortable with repetition?” You will then be focused on your needs and desires.
Sunday at the in-laws: how to shake up this family ritual?
Good news: you are not doomed to replay that Sunday lunch for another ten years, says the expert.
“Because if routine is reassuring, it can also become burdensome. The objective here is to be able to talk about your feelings without creating chaos: to express to your partner, or even to your in-laws, that certain habits no longer suit us, that you would like to change them.”advises Pascal Anger.
The main thing is that your word “be heard” at the table. And if some will prefer to say nothing (in order to avoid any conflict) others will take the plunge… with diplomacy: “What if, for a little change this weekend, we did things differently?”
“In this situation, we can propose, suggest small transitions, without calling everything into question,” specifies Pascal Anger.
It is ultimately a balancing act: respecting family traditions (because your in-laws should not feel rejected) while daring, injecting, a small dose of novelty/modernity.
“Finally, offering new places, new ways of getting together, is also a way of making the family live differently,” concludes the practitioner.