Limiting hugs to three minutes in a drop-off zone, like at Dunedin airport in New Zealand, or encouraging them without limits, like at Heathrow: behind these very practical signs hides a real question of psychology. How long can you hug someone so that the moment really feels good, without becoming awkward?
Ideal length of a hug: what studies say about 5 to 10 seconds
For Professor Michael Banissy, researcher in social neuroscience at the University of Bristol, the ideal duration of a hug is around five to ten seconds. In one study, his team asked volunteers to receive 1-, 5-, or 10-second hugs while blindfolded and then rate their pleasure and sense of control. The 1-second hugs were the least appreciated and, he summed up, “five to ten seconds seems to be the optimal duration“.
He explains that “if it’s too brief, people may not necessarily feel the benefits in terms of emotional closeness and that sort of thing, but, similarly, if it’s too long, it can start to feel uncomfortable“.
The famous 5-10 second window therefore represents a compromise felt to be both warm and respectful.
How the body feels during a five to ten second hug
For Professor Robin Dunbar, evolutionary psychologist at the University of Oxford, “The basic method of social bonding to create relationships is physical touch.“
Under the skin, nerve fibers called C-tactile afferents respond primarily to slow caresses of about 3 cm per second, like a hand sliding gently across the back. This stimulation activates the endorphin system and contributes to the feeling of calm, closeness and security during the embrace.
Teams cited by the Cleveland Clinic observed that this repeated contact could influence hormones such as oxytocin and cortisol, a key biomarker of the stress response. A study showed that women who hugged their partner before a stressful event had a lower increase in cortisol than those deprived of a hug.
At Carnegie Mellon University, 404 adults followed for two weeks and then exposed to a cold virus got sick slightly less often, and with milder symptoms, when they reported receiving frequent hugs.
Hug, consent and self-hug: when 5 to 10 seconds are not possible
Professor Michael Banissy insists on one point: a hug only feels good if it is desired and adapted to the relationship. If the hug feels forced or awkward, the emotional benefits drop.
Researchers at Goethe University have also shown that calming self-touch, such as placing your hands on your heart or gently stroking your arms, reduces the rise in cortisol during a stressful situation.