While it was your gang of friends of always, this summer, they have exhausted you. Fond of gums and evenings, they will have used, to the point that you felt – for the first time of life – as “quirky”. What does this “friendly burn -out” say, what to say, when he occurs? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
An overflow of solicitations
The term “burnout” designates an advanced exhaustion state, where the victim finds himself as well as well physically and emotionally. She feels like “emptied”, unable to face the constraints of everyday life. Chronic fatigue now well identified in the world of work, where burnout is now recognized as “occupational disease”. But when this state of distress is caused by his closest friends, how to explain it?
“”In general, this friendly burn-out arrives when you can no longer. When you are exhausted, saturated“, Recognizes Amélie Boukhobza.”Of course we love them and we hold them. But we no longer want to answer right away. We even find ourselves hoping that they cancel an evening, an invitation … so that we have no more effort to make “, she continues.
Indeed, the excess of requests can quickly become difficult to manage on a daily basis.
“Too many solicitations, too many dramas to manage, too many conversations that go around in circles. With, in the background, this feeling of imbalance: we give a lot, but have receives little. That’s it, the friendly burn-out. An accumulation. An overflow”, she reveals.
Friendly burn-out: What to do to get out?
First, blow. “By taking distance, without feeling guilty. You can like your friends … without being available 24 hours a day. Friendship is not a performance or a constant obligation”, underlines the psychologist.
Getting away for a time is a way of protecting yourself, preserving your mental and emotional energy. “Time to find the momentum, if it comes back“, Specifies the expert.
Then, the practitioner advocates “sorting” among her friends. Those who bring us well-being, joy … and those with whom this is no longer the case.
“What links nourish us? Which are emptying us? We are doing the right to dare to say what we really feel … Often, that is enough to restore a balance, to clarify misunderstandings or to redefine the limits. Better rather than to bury everything until the pressure becomes unbearable … and that we end up exploding”, warns the practitioner.
And then, sometimes, after this time to step back, the envy returns.
“The reunion is done with more lightness … And they do good. That’s it, too, learn to respect themselves”, Recalls in conclusion Amélie Boukhobza.