Between a “my love” whispered in the ear and a “dirty pig” thrown out in the fever of the moment, there is a whole world. A world of nuances, impulses and chosen words, sometimes barely thought, but always full of desire. According to a new study conducted by JOYclub.fr, nicknames used during sex are not simple linguistic accessories: they reflect the dynamic of the couple, the degree of trust. But above all they are varied.
France, between tenderness and provocation
First observation from the survey: the French oscillate between gentleness… and transgression.
At the top of the ranking, tied, two universes share first place. On one side, the classic “darling”, whispered with tenderness, symbol of romantic intimacy. On the other, (at the antipodes), “pig”, assumed incarnation of the drive and letting go.
Two opposite, but complementary words, which illustrate the duality of pleasure: romantic and raw.
Pay attention, behind this leading duo, we find more direct designations, such as “piece”, “slut”, or simply the partner’s first name, proof that calling the other by their name remains a powerful marker of incarnation and excitement. And, due to Anglo-Saxon influence, the “baby” is slowly making its mark on French sheets, between cultural mimicry and gentle eroticism. The words “little”, “excited”, “hot”, or the possessives “mon/ma”, translate tenderness, domination or raw desire at the same time. In the space of dirty talk, each linguistic nuance becomes a balancing act between affection and power, abandon and intensity.
Very French creativity
But Cocorico! With more than two hundred nicknames recorded, the French demonstrate an erotic inventiveness that has nothing to envy of their romantic reputation.
Poetic words (“my fairy”, “my treasure”, “my mermaid”) rub shoulders with animal images (“my tigress”, “my wolf”, “my pussy”) or frankly crude (“my bitch”, “dirty little…”, “my bastard”). Others, more personal, testify to a unique complicity: “my insatiable gourmand”, “my obsession”, “my little debauchee”.
Far from being vulgar, these nicknames become intimate winks, a sort of private joke, a parallel language where the couple invents their own codes.
The word as a mirror of the couple
For Judith Langer, sexologist and spokesperson for JOYclub, these results reflect “the complexity of human sexuality: we are both beings of love and drive. Some couples have their signature nickname, others go from tender to raw in the same minute. This back and forth between gentleness and provocation feeds desire.”
Words in bed are therefore not trivial: they form an emotional language in their own right. They reflect the trust, letting go and complicity that unites two lovers.
Same observation for our sexologist Camille Bataillon in a previous article. Nicknames are not an erotic gadget, but a tool for sensory connection: “Dirty talk can arouse desire and accentuate pleasant sensations.she emphasizes.
Indeed, dirty words are not only used to raise the temperature: they also allow you to guide your partner, express your desires or express a feeling, sometimes more easily than with gestures.
But you still need to know what to say, and when.
Have fun, without feeling forced
Moreover, Camille Bataillon reminds us that nothing should be forced. Like any sexual practice, dirty talk is not obligatory: it can be tamed. The beginnings can be limited to a few rewarding or sensual expressions, before moving towards more explicit vocabulary if the couple wishes. Simple words already contribute to pleasure and pave the way for more daring sexual language.
Especially since dirty deserves, according to the specialist, a prior discussion. “It’s a way to see if speaking more or less crudely during sex can please your partner, but above all to prepare the ground: what tone? What words? What game?”explains Camille Bataillon.
If you want to expand your vocabulary:
- Start slowly: try out tender nicknames before moving towards more crude registers;
- Ask for consent: check that your partner likes (or supports!) certain terms;
- Be authentic: choose words that resonate with you;
- Vary the registers: alternate tenderness and vulgarity depending on the moment;
- Listen to the reactions: your partner’s body and moans will tell you if it’s working.
When words become caresses
Far from being a simple fashion effect, dirty talk stands out as a true grammar of desire.
The words become sonic caresses, language gestures that excite as much as they reassure. They allow you to play, to reveal yourself, to overcome inhibitions without necessarily taking action.
And if there’s one conclusion to draw from this JOYclub study, it’s that small names aren’t so small. They reveal complicity, pleasure, confidence and daring.
Between “my love” and “my slut”, the distance is tiny, and this is perhaps where all the salt of French sexuality lies: in this capacity to love tenderly, but to desire wildly.