Christmas lights, decorated windows and gift supplements in our magazines… The obvious is obvious: the holidays are indeed here. But what about the festive spirit, the joy of family reunions? Between the Christmas break and the opportunity for a new start for the New Year, the opportunity to give meaning to these inseparable events is too good. It’s up to us to seize it!
Obligation to slow down!
It’s undeniable! We live in times marked by urgency. A pace that even seems to accelerate for the holidays. Result : “Each day follows another, without leaving any imprint or any particular scent, everything goes so quickly” deplores the philosopher Fabrice Midal. Added to this is a certain commercial trivialization of events which should remain significant. However, if marketing and consumption seem to have taken over the holidays, we are free not to let ourselves be manipulated and to turn the tide to our advantage.
Good news! To give them meaning again, we will have to stop a little to think about them and let ourselves be inspired rather than running, planning and checking off our gift lists. “Start by asking yourself what is important to you about these events. What would you like to celebrate?” asks Fabrice Midal.
In the philosophical approach, each question nourishes the quest. As such, Christmas and New Years can also become an opportunity to get to know each other better without necessarily spending time on your therapist’s couch!
Family Christmas: an opportunity for a break!
Trying to actualize the myth of family harmony on Christmas Eve is not without some little anxieties. And for good reason: “the family remains a place where conflicts, frustrations and other unresolved issues reactivate…” confirms Fabrice Midal. In some families more than others. It is not uncommon for us to get caught up in the game of each other’s projections*.
To achieve more relaxation around this Christmas event that we would like to be warm, there are several options: “First try to be aware of our projections“explains Fabrice Midal. Perhaps you welcome an uncle with old anger, or a cousin, with a heart full of jealousy. Tell yourself that all the ideas we have about the beings close to us prevent us from really seeing who they are. “Take this opportunity to look at them with new eyes” adds the philosopher. It is not always easy to be open and curious about our loved ones, about who they are today. And yet, according to him, “it is undoubtedly the only chance for us to get out of our fixed roles, and to show how much we too have changed“.
The New Year: a passage!
“The particularity of the New Year is that it marks a passage, not a simple festive meeting” jokes Fabrice Midal. Whether we like it or not, the New Year’s rite is accompanied by intentions that we set more or less seriously, and that we will keep (or not) throughout the year. From then on, these new objectives allow everyone to define or redefine themselves with the opportunity for change. And that’s where the notion of passage comes in. “A completely symbolic notion, and inseparable from the human being, which gives so much importance to this evening” develops Fabrice Midal. A unique opportunity to finally reconnect with this dimension of myths, legends and poetry, so rarely present in everyday life. Faced with the sometimes absurd nature of existence, the opportunity to formulate what we really want for the year to come cannot be refused.
Choose how you would like to “experience” this passage. “What does it symbolize for you, what could you offer?” questions the philosopher again. In certain cultures, we offer sweets to make the year sweet. It is also an opportunity to think about what we want to leave on the other side, anger, fears, projects without a future… to open up to the new.
To feel freer with what may seem very conventional or obligatory to some, listen to your deep desires. Which means taking the risk of confronting who we really are.
* – A phenomenon implicitly mentioned in the famous Tibetan Book of the Dead (theme of his conference at Inrees) where we discover how the thoughts we have about people and things color the world.