Have you dreamed of this well -deserved vacation for weeks? And the rare occasion to finally land, on a lounge chair, without planning? And yet, after a few hours or days, you are unable to savor the moment. An inner voice blows you that you should “take advantage” to do something useful: put away, read, advance on projects or even cultivate yourself. Result: relaxation becomes a source of anxiety, even guilt. But why?
A disturbing vacuum
According to Véronica Olivieri-Daniel, psychologist, this reaction is often linked to our psychic functioning. Some personalities, more enclosed on overloading activities, find it difficult to tolerate the void. “These are often people who cannot stand to stay alone with themselves, who constantly seek to fill their daily lives. They can present what is called an FOMO, the fear of missing something, and need to be in permanent movement”she analyzes.
A time without a framework or benchmark
In urban and pressurized societies, where life is organized by a thousand an hour, this need for hyperactivity becomes almost a norm. “Among some, the holidays brutally reveal an interior space that they no longer know how to live. Their daily life is punctuated by obligations – work, sport, outings – which take the place of psychic crutches. When these landmarks disappear, the void, the hollow, become unbearable”.
This confrontation with oneself can bring out a deeper anxiety, sometimes unconscious: “There are people for whom to stop, it’s like living a mini-discharge, a kind of “little death” ” she underlines. Sleep, rest, silence can then awaken a form of existential anxiety “notes the psychoanalyst who admits to see regularly in the office.
Reappear
Can we find a more peaceful relationship in free time? Yes, provided that you initiate introspection work underlines the expert. “”It is useful to wonder why it is so difficult to spend time alone, in a pleasant way. Are there activities that really give pleasure? Where are they? How can we integrate them into the holidays to prevent them from becoming a space of concern? “offers Véronica Olivieri-Daniel.
The idea is not to plan excessively, but to reinvest this time for yourself gently. Provide time with activities that we like, like some reassuring benchmarks, just to say that this time will not be lost. Read a novel that we expected, walk without specific goal, listen to music. So many ways to restore rest to a value in itself, without feeling guilty or profitable.