Silence is not neutral. For some, it soothes, for others, it causes real anxiety. Clinical psychologist Amélie Boukhobza explains why he is so scary and gives keys to better accept it.
A source of anxiety for many
As soon as calm settles down, many seek to break it. “”Silence, for many, is unbearable. So we find all the possible tips: lighting the television when you get home, put music to fall asleep, fill every time dead. But it is not always a simple habit. Sometimes it’s a real anxiety“Explains Amélie Boukhobza.
The psychologist underlines that this fear is much deeper than a simple reflex. It can translate real fears that we seek to bury: “The fear of silence is often the fear of being faced with yourself. When there is no more distraction, no more noise to hide what is going through us, our thoughts, our concerns, the emotions that we prefer to keep from a distance. Silence then becomes threatening because it refers to an inner vacuum that we do not want to face“.
Why does silence worry as much?
Silence acts as a mirror. In a society saturated with distractions, he reveals what many seek to flee: thoughts, anxieties, buried emotions. For Amélie Boukhobza, this rejection of calm often results in an irrepressible need to fill the sound space. “”Behind this constant sound need for sound, there is this refusal of the void. The noise reassures. He gives the illusion of never being alone, of staying busy, surrounded. A way of protecting yourself from the overflow of oneself“, Specifies the expert.
TV on the background, music in the ears or the phone notifications serve as reassuring screens. These gestures give the impression of being accompanied, but maintain a leak in front of oneself. Silence forces him to confront what disturbs.
How to tame silence?
To overcome this fear, Amélie Boukhobza advises to start with small steps. “”Learning silence, it is not easy. It is accepting to stay in touch with what emerges. We can start with small moments: walking without helmet, cutting the notifications, breathing for a few minutes without doing anything. Little by little, silence finds another value: no longer an absolutely filling emptiness, but a space of rest, of presence to oneself. And the more we get used to it, the more we discover that he is not scary. That he can even appease“Concludes Amélie Boukhobza.
Even if it seems impossible for you at the moment, with almost harmless efforts, you will be able to control your fear and one day, perhaps, to appreciate silence.