The alarm has just gone off and we already have to get the children ready, go to work, think about shopping, the doctor’s appointment… Result? Before you even finish this second week of school, you find yourself feeling exhausted. How can you explain it when you’ve just returned from vacation? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares some answers with us.
After the holidays, we should be rested (at least, on paper)
First of all, there is a stubborn idea, which deserves to be deconstructed: the holidays should necessarily have allowed us to “recover”.
“This is something that I have heard a lot in consultations since the start of the school year. After the holidays, we should be rested, motivated, available, ready to work, to organize ourselves, and even to make good resolutions!”confides the psychologist.
However, the reality is quite different: the summer period is not always a long, quiet river (as if a series of sand castles, family reunions, trips, and crying spells were all rest). And when fatigue has persisted for many months, a few weeks of leave are not enough to erase it.
“We can therefore resume without having really recovered. For those who have had a vacation, they may also have been occupied by children, family constraints, worries or simply fatigue accumulated over months”recognizes the expert. We can therefore return to work with fatigue already present.
Work, children, appointments… a long to-do list
Perhaps that’s what makes September so special. In a few days, much of what had been put on hold returns to its place.
“The start of the school year can demand a lot, very quickly, because tout restarts at the same time. Work, schedules, family organization, registrations, expenses, appointments. You have to do, but also decide, plan, coordinate. But stress appears precisely when the demands we must meet seem to exceed the resources we have available.explains the specialist.
This accumulation can give a very familiar feeling: that of never having finished your to-do list. The alarm also rings earlier… and we start chasing time again.
“The change of pace is quite abrupt. And if the bedtimes are still those of summer before the time change, the lack of sleep can quickly be felt”underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
A brain that anticipates a little too much
There is also everything that we start to anticipate again. Even when you are still sitting quietly on your sofa on Sunday evening, your mind may already be elsewhere: Monday’s meeting, the children’s homework, Wednesday’s meeting, the errands to plan, the next deadlines… The start of the school year therefore does not only fill the diaries. It also fills thoughts.
“We are already thinking about the next deadlines, the weeks to organize, the difficulties that we risk encountering. This anticipation maintains a part of ourselves in what is to come, including in the moments when we could rest”confirms Amélie Boukhobza.
And when is there time to breathe? Almost never. A free slot can quickly become the ideal time to run an errand, make an appointment or respond to Whatsapp messages.
In September, “breathing spaces are reduced considerably”confirms, not without regret, the psychologist.
“Each available space seems to quickly find its obligation. But we need moments when nothing is expected, without constraints”she insists.
“Finally, the start of the school year can very quickly put us back in a place that is costing us”explains Amélie Boukhobza. “The one who organizes everything. The one who everyone counts on. The one who accepts yet another task when he is already short of time”adds the specialist.
So, rather than immediately trying to do better, a question can be useful: what am I doing again without even thinking about it? “What responsibilities could be discussed, deferred or shared?”suggests the psychologist.
Because September often brings another pressure: that of taking advantage of the start of the school year to become a “better version” of yourself. “Be more organized. Do more sports. Eat better. Be more efficient at work. More available with your children…. And so on.”recognizes Amélie Boukhobza. A list that can quickly become one more obligation.
Back to school: what if you let yourself breathe?
So the start of the school year doesn’t have to be “perfect”. If you’re already feeling exhausted as September barely begins, maybe start by looking at what fills your days. Can some things wait? Can a task be shared? Can an appointment be postponed? And above all, do you still have a few moments left during the week when nothing is planned?
Because after the holidays, the real challenge is not necessarily to leave again at full speed. It’s also about finding a rhythm that we can maintain over time…