In a recent video, James Van der Beek, flagship actor of the series “Dawson”, appeared very emaciated – even unrecognizable. The father is indeed suffering from colorectal cancer, which has been consuming it for several months. But when one undergoes such a physical metamorphosis, what to tell your children? What “good” words to use to reassure them? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, shares us some precious advice.
James van der Beek appeared considerably weakened
If the father of 6 children is an example of resilience (he has been fighting against a colorectal cancer of stadium 3 for almost a year), he appeared smiling, but very emaciated, on a video this Monday, September 22, 2025.
While he had to go to the Richard Rogers theater in New York to find his former Dawson companions, James Van Der Beek was forced to cancel his coming. In question: two stomach infections he had to treat.
“”I have been looking forward to this evening for months and months since my angel Michelle Williams had told me that she was organizing it. I can’t believe I am not there. I can’t believe that I cannot see my casting comrades, my magnificent distribution, in person “, he confides, regretting not being able to thank On stage “all the present souls who supported me, against cancer”.
Despite everything, the actor remains optimistic: “Miracles exist and they perform all the time (…) Take care of you, go slowly. You will get there“He told” people “magazine in November 2024.
A rage to live, which can be experienced differently by the relatives of the sick individual, also tested by the disease. Children, in particular, can live this period badly, marked by many questions.
“The falling hair, a fatigue that is seen, a weakened body, the marked face … heavy treatments often leave traces. And children, necessarily, notice everything. They look with their big eyes. They ask questions – without filter. And we don’t always know what to answer …”, Confirms Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
How then to find the right words to cross this test? Our expert’s response.
Use simple terms, suitable for their age
Faced with the disease and its consequences, it is preferable to anticipate and think about the most suitable response to bring them.
“Of course, it is not a question here of telling them everything – they do not have to be projected in an adult world. But it is not a question either of hiding them everything. It must be said enough, so that it is true. Enough they understand, enough for them not to invent a reality even worse. Enough they do not put themselves in fault. As I often specify to my patients, it is not necessary to” lie ” she underlines.
Because, in the end, what anxious children the most is what we say … But well what we have. “The children are surprising … and very resilient. Much more than us”, recalls the expert.
The main thing is to use simple words, adapted to their age. “”I’m tired right now because I’m treating myself. “”Medicines can drop hair, but that doesn’t mean treatment does not work. “” My body changes, but I’m still there. Doctors treat me.“”
The main idea is not to lie … and to reassure the essentials. “What matters to them? That the adult remains a benchmark. Let there be an answer when they ask. Even if it is brief and imperfect”, still specifies Amélie Boukhobza.
“”Because, contrary to what one might think, children do not find comfort in a perfect explanation, but in the bond that holds. In the presence of an adult capable of saying: “I take care of myself. I am well surrounded. We cross this test togetherE “, underlines the practitioner.
What if the child feels fear?
It is a completely normal reaction. “We can express to him that we understand and that this fear can be crossed in two. Because love remains stronger than anything”, concludes the practitioner.