For a long time, the question of loyalty seemed to leave only two options: respecting a strict framework or freeing yourself from it completely. However, more and more couples are looking for a more nuanced path, capable of preserving the bond without ignoring the tensions linked to desire, the passage of time or contradictory expectations. It is in this context that a new term is gradually gaining ground in discussions, revealing a need for adjustment rather than rupture.
Neither strict monogamy nor completely open relationship
As traditional couple models evolve, more and more partners are revisiting the rules of monogamy. The term “monogamish” is starting to circulate among those who wish to reconcile a happy couple and freedom.
For Gianpaolo Furgiuele, the definition is clear: “Monogamish describes a couple who remains emotionally committed, but who accepts occasional openings with several possibilities. The main link is not discussed“.
Unlike classic monogamy, where sexual exclusivity is a fundamental principle, monogamish does not make it absolute. But it also differs from fully open relationships: it does not aim to multiply relationships outside the couple, but to allow a few chosen experiences. The expert recalls that this model is clearly located in the middle between these relational extremes.
Why does this model appeal to certain couples today?
For many partners, the desire to make the couple last no longer means giving up their desires or their personal curiosities. “Because many couples want to last without lying to each other and without depriving themselves of pleasure. Monogamish often appears in stable partners, attached to each other, but pragmatic about the persistence of desire, curiosity or fantasy“, according to the sexologist.
This relational pragmatism responds to a reality that many people experience: desire does not always disappear with commitment, and rather than denying or repressing it, some couples prefer to discuss it openly and draw up common rules.
The essential rules for it to work
A “between two” model like monogamish requires clear communication between partners. Gianpaolo Furgiuele insists on this point:
“It’s all about clarity. What is possible, what is not, what is said and what remains private must be asked before, not after“.
Without a shared framework, misunderstandings can quickly call into question trust in the other partner, even though it is this which constitutes the basis of the monogamish couple.
Establishing precise rules (who, when, how, and what limits) is the essential point from the start!
A lasting phase or balance?
Monogamish is not necessarily a transitional step towards something else: everyone finds their place according to their personal and relational needs. As Furgiuele explains: “For some couples, it’s a phase. For others, a balance found. There are no good or bad relationship models“.
Far from being a fixed concept or a passing fashion, monogamish can represent a relationship adapted to listening to personal desires, while preserving the essential: lasting love between partners.