When a Japanese speaks of Oubaitori, he evokes a millennial wisdom that strangely resonates with our modern concerns. Behind this word, a simple but powerful idea: to advance at its own pace, without comparing yourself to others. An antidote to jealousies and complexes born from social networks.
Oubaitori, a wisdom inspired by Japanese flowers
Appeared after the success of ikigai, the Ubaitori is attracting more and more in the West. He designates “the art of never comparing himself to others” and draws his inspiration from nature. In Japanese culture, the term refers to cherry, plum, apricot and peach. Like flowers, everyone has their own moment to hatch.
According to the site Yamat“It means that each flower flowers at their own pace and recalls that everyone is master of their own journey in life“. A poetic image that recalls that there is no unique model to flourish.
Always according to Yamatyou must never forget that there is “Never has a precipitation to get to where you think you should be. There is no right path in life and Ubaitori is a useful reminder to free yourself from this pressure“. The central idea is therefore to accept its rhythm, without guilt, and to celebrate each step crossed.
Social networks and permanent comparison
Oubaitori finds a particular echo in a world dominated by social networks. Exposed to the success and the smiles displayed, many fall into the comparison. According to a BVA study carried out in September 2023, 6 % of 18-25 year olds have already felt contempt and 9 % of jealousy by seeing a publication. In women, 27 % say they are complexed by this mechanism.
Psychotherapist Ruairi Stewart warns in Stylist : “People choose to share with others the way they want to be seen“. Faced with this permanent staging, he invites us to protect himself by practicing the Ubaitori. Rather than being” not enough “or” too much “, he advises to refocus on his strength.
How to practice Oubaitori on a daily basis?
Oubaitori is not innate, but everyone can adopt it with some simple changes:
- Review your inner dialogue: “Think about how you question your best friend’s certainties, if he told you that he compares himself harshly to others“Explains Ruairi Stewart.”You would remind them of their strengths, so do the same for you“;
- Cherishing your victories: rather than self -propelled in front of the others, it is a question of valuing your successes, large or small, and to remember it;
- Insidering others: seeing a success is not a personal failure, but a source of motivation. “”If these people can do it, why not you?“, questions the expert.”Naturally, there can be barriers, obstacles and challenges to make things happen, but it doesn’t hurt to believe in yourself and have the motivation to go further“.