Letting go in sexuality is a challenge for many of us is the key to deeper and freer pleasure. Understanding how our body and our brain overlap in this experience can help reconnect with enjoyment. To achieve this, the Sexologist Paolo Furgiuele gives us tracks.
The brain, conductor of sexual pleasure
Often, we imagine sexual pleasure as a simple physical response to bodily stimulation. A kind of reaction that some know how to manage better than others. However, the brain remains the central organ of sexual pleasure, explains the sexologist Paolo Furgiulé.
“We can be touched without feeling anything, or on the contrary simply shudder with a thought. It is the brain that interprets sensations, transforms an excitement into pleasure and connects the body to emotion.”
In other words, what we feel does not depend only on the body, but also on our imagination. He plays a fundamental role in activating desire and making it more alive. Hence the importance of being able to relax!
When performance stifles the bond to the body
The most common trap is to focus our attention on the performance or the image that we return to the other. However, this hyperconcentration on the outside gaze or “do well” weakens the link with our own body, indicates the sexologist. Who offers not to restrict his own imagination.
“In this dynamic, fantasy often makes the difference, continues paolo furgiuele. Fantasy is a mental space where everyone can explore their desires, without constraint or judgment. “
The fantasy stimulates excitation, sometimes in a subtle way, and enriches the relationship. “In consultation, it appears that lived pleasure often depends as much, or even more, on what is imagined than what is real. Unlike certain received ideas, the fantasy does not slow down the relationship, it embellishes it.”
Masturbation, key to an intimate relationship with oneself
Another path to a better letting go go through … masturbation, which paolo furgiuele strongly encourages to break taboos and gain self -confidence.
“It makes it possible to develop an intimate relationship with oneself, to get to know your sensations and to identify what gives pleasure. It also gives access to more personal scenarios than one does not necessarily share in the relationship with two.”
In this intimate space, without pressure or objective, pleasure becomes more free, more accessible. Masturbation thus becomes a personal sensory and emotional exploration laboratory.
Three pillars for fulfilled sexuality, and a practical exercise
According to Furgiuele Paolo, fulfilled sexuality is thus based on three essential elements:
- An active imagination that nourishes desire;
- An ability to be carried without controlling everything;
- An intimate self -relationship supported by the practice of masturbation.
It is on this condition that the body can really enjoy what the mind allows. And to learn to let go, our expert recommends simple and accessible gestures:
“Take the time to breathe slowly, with your belly, and allow yourself a masturbation without pressure or specific goal. Breathing is relaxing and refocusing on the body. Masturbation opens a space to explore its sensations, your desires, your interior images.”
According to him, this moment becomes a real inner cinema when you are the protagonist, free to dare and feel, without fear or judgment. “For a more authentic, freer and above all more joyful enjoyment. “