During the idyllic early days of a love story, we tend not to notice the little flaws of his partner … to the point of ignoring obvious “red flags”. Questioned by the SiteTODAY.com, Amy Morin, Psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Dobelieves that “red flags” are essential warnings indicating that a person is not ready to engage in a healthy relationship. She emphasizes that these signs give precious indications on the character’s character, personality or moment of life, aspects that do not easily change. However, apparently harmless disagreements at the start of the relationship can quickly turn into major difficulties. Hence the importance of slowing down the relationship until we can really discuss the other’s intentions. “”Things that already posed a problem at first often become the reason why the relationship ends “explains Jennifer Klesman, approved clinician social worker and therapist in Chicago at the siteTODAY.com.
The relationship seems superficial
If the relationship lacks depth and is limited to superficial or physical exchanges, it could be the sign of a dressing relationship, without real emotional attachment.
He hides things from you
If your partner hides things to you or avoids important subjects, it may indicate that he does not trust you enough to share with you what he feels.
He practices Gaslighting (mental manipulation)
A healthy conflict is one thing, distorting the truth is another. When your partner makes you doubt your perception or unjustly feel guilty, Gaslighting is a very worrying signal.
He’s a follower of love bombing
A sudden avalanche of love, gifts or excessive attention can be a manipulative tactic. The “Love Bombing” aims to create an emotional dependence.
He has an excessive desire to please
A partner who does everything to please you without ever expressing his own needs or opinions can hide his true personality. In reality, tendencies to constantly want to please or be too flattering can constitute a real alert signal in a relationship.
He has a real addiction to work (Workaholism)
Working a lot may seem positive, but if it is impossible for the person to disconnect without anxiety, it can harm the romantic relationship. The “workaholic” can try to hide his symptoms behind his success, but his addiction to work will make it impossible to maintain a healthy long -term relationship.
He is constantly talking about his ex and/or compares you to her
If he often talks about her ex (in good or bad), or compares you to he/him, it means that he/she has not yet moved on to something else. This new relationship can be a way to help him manage his unresolved feelings.
It avoids deep emotional connection
A partner who refuses to talk about his emotions or to open can be emotionally unavailable.
He has inconsistent behaviors
Examples: he goes on frequent messages and then total silence. A truly invested person is constant and available.
He is violent verbally or physically
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but if things degenerate into any form of violence – verbal, physical or emotional – it is important to move away.
Your life goals are incompatible
Do not rely on a future change: if from the start, your partner wants something very different from you (ex: children, marriage, place of life), this can be a problem.
He was excessive jealousy
If your partner shows excessive jealousy, it can be a sign that he does not trust you. In addition, jealousy can also arise from your partner’s own insecurity, which can make you doubt yourself.
He has history of infidelity
A person who has already cheated can make you live in the constant fear of a new infidelity, affecting your mental well-being.
You have different life goals
If you have opposite life visions (family, career, pace of life), this may pose long -term problems.
He consumes substances excessively
This may indicate dependence. If your partner does not want to change or heal, it can make the relationship unhealthy.
He is not interested in your loved ones
A partner who does not try to know your friends or family can lack real investment. Also, people who have no friends can become very dependent and invasive.
The relationship is moving too fast
If someone wants to move too quickly, it can hide an attempt to control or manipulate.
He has controlling behavior
Be careful if your partner starts to limit your social interactions, by imposing restrictions on the people you can see and when. This is a form of manipulation and abuse. It is a major alert signal.