Love ruptures, whether divorces, ends of PACS or free unions, are painful events, often destabilizing for adults as well as for children. If no period is truly ideal for living a separation, some seasons can offer a more favorable context for personal reconstruction. Summer, with its more flexible rhythm and moments of sociability, sometimes seems to play a role of emotional shock absorber. Explanations.
A less painful period?
According to figures published by the DREES (Research, Studies, Evaluation and Statistics Department), 425,000 marital separations (divorces, breaks of PACS or free unions) take place each year, and around 379,000 minor children have experienced the breakdown of their parents since the early 2010s. Claire Alquier, couple therapist and sexologist, explains in an interview with Women’s Journal that, despite the pain that a separation is undergoing, summer can offer conditions favorable to identity reconstruction.
“”Even if winter and its gloomy weather can make separation more painful, and in summer, we are more turned outwards with more programmed social events, the fact remains that it is not because it is sunny that it facilitates the rupture“, concedes the specialist. However, she considers that putting an end to a romantic relationship during the summer can make the situation less painful. Indeed, it is easier to graft yourself in a group holiday, to go in a refuge place or to participate in outings with friends or family as in winter. As many occasions that help to feel less alone in this ordeal.
In summer, an emotional shock absorber for children
And when are there children in the middle? Again, there is no ideal time to experience a break. Nevertheless, the long holidays, far from the school rate and the obligations, can make separation easier to accept.
“”A separation remains traumatic for children, regardless of the moment, but two summer months can help and perhaps less disturb them. In any case, it is much better than the day before the start of the school year or in the school year, where there are issues“, Note the expert. What is essential is to treat the announcement to children. It is advisable to use simple words and clearly explain to them how things will happen. For example:”Dad and mom do not love each other anymore, but you, we will always love you as much. From the start of the school year, dad and mom will live in two different houses“Prudence, however: it is preferable not to announce the separation too early, because toddlers do not have the concept of time.