The psychologist’s office is supposed to be a place of trust, listening and repair. However, it happens that this supposed protective framework, is diverted. Certain attitudes or words of the practitioner, far from harmless, can cross the limits of professional ethics and endanger the patient. But how to recognize them? When a driving, behind the apparent benevolence of a therapeutic relationship, becomes problematic? True Medical proposes to explore these alert signals, often subtle, sometimes insidious, which must push us to remain vigilant, even within a space supposed to be secure. And to avoid these drifts, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, reveals the behavior to accept (or not) in the context of therapy.
In the cabinet, what conduct should alert?
Within the cabinet, many patients wrongly think that each speech emanating from the practitioner is imbued with truth.
“”We tend to believe that in therapy, everything is good to move forward. That if a word is pronounced by a professional, it is necessarily fair. But no. There is a limit. And some can be crossed“Underlines Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Indeed, it happens that words go too far. “”These are lyrics that slip: an inappropriate judgment, an infantilizing tone. An insistence where we said no. And sometimes again, this drift is more insidious: a grip that sets in, a maintained dependence, a link that goes beyond the frame. It also happens that we are witnessing … too much. A displaced act. An attack. Real violence“Indicates the psychologist.
The problem ? In terms of temporality, it can be difficult to react at the moment.
“”This involvement is not always visible immediately, because we trust the practitioner. We are exposed, we are vulnerable. And it is in particular for this reason that the drifts are both easy … and very serious“, warns the expert.
The psychologist has no right “to decide, nor to impose”
When a patient presents himself to the cabinet in a state of great vulnerability (for rape acts, latent depression, mourning or a family/love abandonment …), it can be very difficult to discern what a psychologist is entitled to do … and what exceeds his intervention framework. Nevertheless, relying on your feelings and intuitions (“at this precise moment, I feel embarrassed/forced/obliged”) can greatly help.
“”A psychologist is not there to decide for us. Neither to impose his vision, nor to put pressure on our life choices. He is not there to hold us back, to mingle with our intimacy, nor to make us a mirror of his own injuries. As soon as the relationship becomes vague – in other words, that one feels obliged, guilty, judged, manipulated – the framework of ‘care’ is exceeded. We are in abuse. Especially in breach of trust, even the abuse of weakness“, warns the practitioner.
Do these abuses and drifts have a name? “”Yes, it can be called psychological violence“, Recognizes Amélie Boukhobza.”And sometimes, violence in short.“”
When then can be sounded with alarm?
You – and you alone – must remain master of your emotions, your privacy and your actions.
“”Therapy is not synonymous with power. Certainly, the therapist has an ascendant, if only in the place we give him: we recover to him (or her)“, Says the specialist. But he must use it wisely and, above all, do not abuse it.”This is why the framework is absolutely essential: therapy must remain a secure, clear, respectful space. You should never feel uncomfortable, infantilized or locked up in a loyalty that we do not understand. So if we have a doubt … we listen to him, we question him and we talk about it“Concludes Amélie Boukhobza.