In his captivating program “Couples Therapy”, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Orna Guralnik helps couples to solve their conflicts. Sometimes it is a question of reaching a compromise, other times, to accept separation. She emphasizes that one of the essential aspects of her work is to help individuals to better communicate and listen to each other.
Too much time wasted trying to convince the other
According to the specialist, we devote too much time to trying to persuade the other, which inevitably leads to sterile conversations. By trying to impose our vision of things on our partner, we forget to listen to our own feelings. “”In my opinion, a conversation is fruitful when we try to understand what our partner seeks to tell us, rather than trying to prove to him that he is wrong “explains Orna Guralnik. “”It is, in my opinion, the key element that distinguishes a productive conversation from a dead end “.
Focusing on the idea of contradicting your partner often pushes to pronounce reactionary words, hurtful and, basically, useless. According to Orna Guralnik, “It becomes a defensive reaction and a response, rather than a real exchange, with a lot of noise and confusion “. She adds that “People easily get carried away by their emotions and their impulses “. Trying to understand the journey that led our partner to its conclusion allows you to get out of a conflict rather than get bogged down there.
Towards a more empathetic and nuanced understanding
The psychologist wants spectators of her program to be able to adopt this approach in their own life. According to her, many fans say that these intimate sessions have shown them that there are neither “nice” nor “bad”. “”The more they discover the participants, the more their empathy grows towards everyone, their vision of relations becomes more nuanced, and they abandon the attitudes of division and polarization “she explains.