Sunday Boys. The term could designate a Californian rock group, but it is not. Under this formula is mainly hiding singles ready to establish interactions on weekends, but which will drop you on Monday by a tasty ghosting. Pleasant, right?
The art of only being the weekend
The trend seems to emerge in particular on dating sites: Sunday, calm day, would be one of the most popular to chat things and others and to build new relationships. (The first Sunday in January being the one where the connections are the most numerous.) That day, the tone is playful and relaxed, the questions are linked … But while you thought you would get to know in a sympathetic way with @gregdu33, here it is disappearing from the radars on Monday, to sometimes rebuild you the following weekend.
“Many guys answer me on Sunday, asking me: ‘Hey! What are you doing today?’ We then discuss our weekends at length, then they disappear without ever giving a sign of life the next day“, Emma, 30 (and blasé), testified in She Swiss This summer.
An innocent hot-cold which can however leave traces: misunderstanding, followed by a loss of confidence, as can happen in ghosting. But why these Sunday Boys Do they act like this?
The need to fill a vacuum and fill an anxiety
For Johanna Rozenblum, this reaction, which rages on social networks or meeting apps, actually translates an anxiety linked to the arrival of the weekend and to the way in which we will be able to fill this time. “”There are a lot of people for whom they are alone, not having a planning, not having extremely full days is a source of anxiety. They experience loneliness as a chasm. So the initial idea is to compensate.“”
The figures also show this perfectly: social networks and dating sites are experiencing a peak of activity on Friday evening, to make this lack. Because behind these Sunday Boysin the sympathetic name, sometimes hides a deeper feeling that these people know how to camouflage during the week.
“In reality, there must be at home a void, a daily suffering, which is filled the week by a well-filled schedule, in particular by work and responsibilities. And an anxiety which reappears a little at the end of the week, facing the vacuum of the weekend. So that says something, in fact, of the emotional state, of maturity too, of the person who lives on the weekend that she needs to be abandoned almost as a feeling of abandonment. price.“”
“Sunday guy” or possible guy? How to sort
The fact remains that, if the anxiety is real on one side, it is not very pleasant for the person who, she thought, thought of establishing a good connection. So how to face and react?
“Indeed, it is useful to wonder, in these cases, if it is really a relationship they want, or if they are looking for a blanket to compensate for this feeling of emptiness“, points out our psychologist. According to her, nothing better than putting their feet in the dish.
“I think that if we realize that this person manifests only on weekends, it is good to emphasize it frankly: ‘Is I an occupation of the weekend for you? Is it the mode of exchange that we will have together? Or can it evolve?‘”
Being clear with the desires and practices of each other allows singles to avoid disappointments and to project themselves when the other is not in this process. “”If that is not suitable for us, at that time, we must see reality opposite and understand that this relationship is not intended to develop“Concludes the psychologist.
And why not look for a Everyday Boy Instead of a Sunday Boy ? A contact ready to discuss any day of the week.